[Open]

[morecowbell]

Characters: Yami Bakura and Nanami & and whoever would like to visit them.
Location: Hospital
Rating: PG-13
Time: May 21st – May 26th
Description: Yami Bakura and Nanami share a hospital room after their disastrous mission in Venezuela. Yami Bakura will be unconscious until May 25th, but Nanami will be here all week folks awake for the most part.


The room was silent with the exception of the machines beeping to remind visitors that the two bodies in the room were still warm. Nanami spent her time awake staring at the ceiling or out the window and periodically glancing over at her dormant partner in the other hospital bed that occupied the room.

He was covered in various bandages with bruises peeking out from behind them. His hair was sticking out in a more ridiculous manner than usual due to the bandage wrapped around his head like some sweatband from the 80’s. She had been updated on his condition shortly after she regained consciousness and besides the things you could see he had also twisted an ankle and had been poisoned by one of the monsters they had tried to fight off. The antidote had been administered shortly after they had arrived at the hospital but he was still unconscious.

Nanami hadn’t managed to get off scot-free either. Aside from the usual cuts, scrapes and bruises she had some deep lacerations on the left side of her back that had been stitched up and she was still anemic.

Comments

[feelsgoodinyou]

Bakura's scowl deepened. "Show me anybody whose 'friendship' has changed the roll of a die or brought the dead back and I'll kill them myself."

He shook his head. "No, people die here no matter what they mean to someone else or who's hoping or trusting in you. There's no cheap cop-out for facing the cruel reality. Everybody is playing with the same odds." His expression split into a cruel smile. "And you know what? I'm damn happy about that!"

[shiromadoushi]

Bakura shrank back just a touch. "Why would you be happy about something like that?!"

[feelsgoodinyou]

"Because this is justice." He gestured with his free hand. "You might not understand it but it means that there are no privileges anymore. No special treatment just because you are 'good', or popular or rich. Everybody is the same, they have to fight for their survival and face the consequences of failing to win the same way. No magically drawn right cards anymore."

[shiromadoushi]

"But it wasn't ever about those things...! Having the strength of will and people behind you was what made the difference... and that's something that anyone can have..."

[feelsgoodinyou]

"Wrong!" A small bristle ran over Bakura's form and turned the tone of his voice colder than it was intended to. "What about those who have nobody who could stand behind them left? What about those who are alone, or bullied or outcasts? What about those whose wills are shaken for good reasons and those who decide to deviate from the ideals of the majority?! Are you going to say that that is just and that they don't deserve any better than to be inevitably crushed by those more lucky than them? That the sheep shall rule over the wolves and trample them into the ground just because they all look alike and there are more?!

That's no justice, Ryou! That's oppression and the rule of convenience!!"

[shiromadoushi]

The teen stared, eyes wide and stunned. That way of looking at it simply had just never occurred to him. The notion that if you believed enough-- even if he felt he never did-- that it would create a miracle... it was something he clung to. With enough will and the support of those around you, you could change things so that everything would be better... if he could ever be good enough, he could change things...

It was an addictive promise that gave him something to reach for, and something to blame himself for when things crumbled around him like they always did. Just a little more... just a little...

[feelsgoodinyou]

Bakura took that as a sign to cock his head to the side. "Don't tell me you never even thought of that." His smirk widened. "Did you really think that Pharaoh and his posse were the only ones who had people believing in them or who were fighting for something important to them with all their heart? That they kept winning without grinding the dreams and efforts of countless others into dust? How naive!"

He laughed cruelly. "That's the way how religions and sects work, Ryou. But you know what? None of them will ever tell you to question their methods or that of their so-called gods. That's why I prefer the cruel reality because there's no automatic promises or faults."

[shiromadoushi]

Bakura looked down, shoulders curling in just a touch, protests half formed, but wordless. He wanted to defend his friends, wanted to believe that they had been in the right, that they had done the right thing..! Yuugi had to rescue his grandfather's soul, and Pegasus was hurting everyone with his dream of defying death for someone long since gone from that world...

"...but there's nothing you can do either, to not have your dreams be crushed..." he finally pointed out, keeping his eyes low.

[feelsgoodinyou]

"All you can do is to fight for them with all you've got." He said it with grim confidence. There was no doubt in Bakura that this would have been a juster world. Cruel and merciless? Yes. But less so to some who would otherwise have no chances to begin with and without doubt beautiful as well with its lack of bias and lies. "Just like everybody else can do."

[shiromadoushi]

But what he had was never good enough. That's why he always reached so desperately for the dream that Yuugi and the others provided. Something outside of himself that would be the magic that would transform his world...

It was why he clung so hard to the Ring. To his friends. To any promise....

He didn't want to face the harsh truth of the world. He wanted to believe in something more... even in this world, where things were so much harsher...it felt even more as if the power of believing in others, the power of trusting in others... it was all the more important.

"...All I have is my life..." he said softly.

[feelsgoodinyou]

"You won't be able to make a change unless you're willing to lose something as well." If it was one thing that Bakura could neither empathize with nor understand then it was Ryou's damsel in distress mentality that drove the boy to just lock himself up into a tower and wait for somebody else to come save him.

He was about to pull his hand free. "And a life is all everybody has. I'm not about to risk mine for somebody who won't struggle to keep himself afloat."

[shiromadoushi]

Bakura's grip tightened as if sensing his double's intent. "I've already lost everything before... you know how little I've ever had, this is the first time I've had something that I didn't want to lose...! I have friends here... family... If I lose them, I don't think I could keep going on..."

He was afraid. Afraid to lose anyone else, afraid of being alone, of being left behind... it was paralyzing. Every person BREW sent back chipped away more and more of what little stability Bakura had, leaving him clinging tightly to whatever fragments he had left, acting as if everything was fine in hopes that it would become real.

[feelsgoodinyou]

Bakura stopped at that. Turning to size Ryou up, he told him coldly "Then just go die already."

He had had enough of his 'double' and his constant worries. Not even being touched like that could change that; if anything it made Bakura resent Ryou even more because his body was still warm and yet he did nothing with it while Bakura had to fight for every chance to be alive with claws and teeth. It was the one thing that hadn't changed after his death and he had enough of dealing with an defeatist attitude like that which just threw everything away without even trying. He knew people like Ryou, they were those who got themselves and everybody else killed. Maybe that was even why he had never bothered to try and make contact with the boy after Ryou had finally been able to hear his voice and recognize his presence.

[shiromadoushi]

Bakura pulled back slightly at the words. "That won't solve anything...!" He'd be even more alone then...!

[feelsgoodinyou]

"Why?" Bakura kept pressing, "Everybody and -thing changes over time. Nothing stays forever. Your desire to keep everything as unchanging as yourself will only cause you to become a hurdle in the way of others who still have the will to actually life and move on. So it'd be best for us all if you just ended this pathetic farce of a tragedy like the piss-poor brat you are and die already."

[shiromadoushi]

The breath caught in Bakura's throat, shoulders hunching in as he looked down. "I--" he faltered. "I just..."

He trailed off, shoulders slowly going slack once more. "...I just want to be happy..." he finished in a very soft whisper, eyes low.

Except that he wasn't. There were moments, moments he treasured over everything else...! But it was like trying to hold sand. Something would come along and change things and he would be left with nothing but fragments. The empty apartment. The empty apartment across the hall... when even L was moving on and he was left behind...

[feelsgoodinyou]

Bakura's expression softened at that even though an attentive person might have noticed how his eyes remained hard. "Everybody does. That's no sin."

He reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair of of Ryou's face. "I just wish you would quit tossing away all the things you have."

[shiromadoushi]

The teen looked up, something in him melting just slightly at the touch that seemed almost affectionate. "I'm not trying to..." he near whispered. "I just don't know what to do, sometimes... or any of the times, really... I'm no good at this, Bakura..." he admitted, fingers tightening around his double's. "I don't want to keep messing up and making things worse but it feels like that's all I do somedays..."

[feelsgoodinyou]

The spirit snorted under his breath as the corners of his lips turned upwards. "So what if you do? Nobody's perfect and if you constantly keep messing up that just means that you're trying to take the way that's not suited for you. Nothing keeps you from turning around and trying another until you find the one that fits."

His hand gave Ryou's a little squeeze as he inwardly smirked. Just a little more now...

[shiromadoushi]

"But I don't know what other way to try..."

[feelsgoodinyou]

Bakura rolled his eyes and gave Ryou a little knock against his head (he had to control himself to not to make it a hard one). "Use your head, idiot. And finally get rid of that idea that there's a way that is absolutely wrong or right."

[shiromadoushi]

The younger of the Bakurae ducked his head slightly at the knock, giving a faint smile. "If I knew how, I'd have done it already... but I'll do my best..."

[feelsgoodinyou]

"Very reassuring." The comment was dry, but not half as cutting as Bakura could usually make them. "Can I have my hand back now?"

[shiromadoushi]

The teen hesitated a moment before very slowly letting go.

[feelsgoodinyou]

"Thanks" Again, he didn't sound geniune but also not insulting.

Bakura flexed his hand and rubbed it to get thesensation of having been held for that long out of it while he made a step back. Once again his form started to dissolve. "I guess that's it for now."