soul_logs | [Close] Been away for far too long.

Entry tags:

[Close] Been away for far too long.

Characters: Sephiroth, Kuroro Lucifer
Location: Bitch's Brew Bar
Rating: Villains
Time: August 17, Noon
Description: After Sephiroth's entry. Because Kuroro multitasks things like ulterior motives and comforting allies.

Sephiroth was, for a man who presented to himself to the world as a cold and heartless bastard, curiously emotionally vulnerable. The facade wasn't a farce -- the man took himself seriously, no matter how ridiculous it seemed to people like Kuroro, who was a contending force of power in his own world. But if it wasn't a farce, then it was perhaps a defense mechanism? No, he doubted that, either. It might simply just be how the other man was raised, much like Nataku who didn't know a rock from a friend.

It wasn't a hard puzzle to solve; Kuroro had all of the pieces and it was easy to put things together and see the entire picture in his mind's eye. Murky, confusing, and grim. What interested him now was how Sephiroth was going to repaint it himself, and maybe contributing here and there to earn himself an ally. Not that he didn't have any sort of sympathy for Sephiroth -- Kuroro considered him enough of his to sincerely want to help, but the reason why he was actually doing so was something else entirely. Ulterior motives piled upon ulterior motives, like weaving a web (how pathetically poetic).

Sephiroth could be considered one of his, like a member of his new, temporary group, but Sephiroth also needed to be fixed first. Kuroro wasn't used to it, the Geneiryodan members as something he never had to worry too much about. Sure he sometimes had deep moments of concern when Coltopi got involved in big fights, and yes he shed plenty of tears for his dead people, but in the end, the group always moved on with only the slightest shrug of the shoulder. To have to fuss over a limb was somewhat of an alien thing to him, but something he found himself doing too often in Death City, with his pool of resources down to this insane man or the next. It was a good thing Shalnark and Machi were there. Two of his most reliable at his beck and call, and it would never occur to him to question their loyalty or stability.

So there Kuroro was, waiting in the Bitch's Brew Bar, already having had two drinks and a third waiting for him. Alcohol hardly did anything to him, with or without nen. Not when he can keep his motor functions through poison that can paralyze whales. Maybe if he drank enough, he'd actually feel a little tipsy.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The bar appeared quiet, and Sephroth had watched silently from his shadowy refuge even as Kuroro had entered and now sat waiting for his arrival. Kuroro's words weighed heavily on his mind as Sephiroth stood outside and across the street from the bar. What had been spoken had woken parts of his past that the ex-General had attempted to shed from his memories all together. It seemed that no matter how hard he had tried, though, the memories would never leave him.

He had been forced to remember the sheer effort that Hojo had put in to help better his prized project. Even before his desertion of ShinRa, that inept fool had gone to all lengths to 'perfect' his greatest creation. Yet even as he thought of that, it hadn't truly been Hojo that had created him. No, the one who truly had, had abandoned him and left him to that poor excuse of a scientist.

Sephiroth closed his eyes at that thought and forced the memories back to the furthest reaches of his mind. The last thing he needed to do was to be further reminded of his past failings. His curiosity had been satisfied, and it had been Kuroro who had been the one to give him the answer he crave.

His eyes slowly reopened at the end of that thought, and he quietly stood within the shadows while he watched the bar's entrance. Kuroro. Sephiroth still wasn't quite certain what to make of the meister. There had been distrust, caution, and a great sense of wariness when it came to Kuroro. And yet, despite the times he had pushed the other way... had threatened to take his life... or had simply ignored the other male and walked off, Kuroro's presence still remained within his life here. The attempts the meister had made to force his way passed his defenses had slowly begun working, despite the fact that Sephiroth hadn't realised, and it had now come to the point he was in now.

He wanted this, Sephiroth found as his gaze remained transfixed on the door. The desire he felt within only seemed to cause the ex-General to inwardly curse his own weakness, but it hardly stopped his body from moving as he began heading over to the door.

Sephiroth walked into the bar in the next moment before his gaze automatically scanned the immediate area for signs of the meister. It didn't take long, and soon enough the ex-General had made his way over before taking a seat opposite Kuroro. The two empty glasses didn't go by his notice, but neither did he care that he'd kept the other waiting. Instead, Sephiroth fixated his gaze on Kuroro as he grunted lightly in greeting.

Sephiroth was there, watching him. Kuroro didn't live his entire life as a fugitive without developing the ability to know when he was being watched, and Sephiroth was not a discreet man by any standard. Still, he remained seated and waited for the other man to move, only going as far as to order a few more drinks for the both of them, to be delivered as soon as his companion arrived.

He supposed, in the end, Sephiroth was a wounded hunting animal. Proud, but also broken. And possibly rabid if not treated well. How should Kuroro go about doing this? Reaffirm the value of his existence? Logically dispute why this creator of his was wrong and why Sephiroth should live as his own man without these ties to the past?

"Hey," he greeted with a small smile, seemingly less energetic now that there were only the two of them. A lot of his energy were both for show and real -- Kuroro was as one could see him, but there were many facets to his personality that people didn't usually pick up on. Kurapika was starting to learn. For Kuroro's sake, he hoped that no one else did.

A waitress arrived and left a tray of shotglasses and a bottle of vodka for the both of them. Prussia would protest, but Kuroro didn't feel like beer at the moment. It didn't hit hard enough.

There seemed to be something different about Kuroro here, something more realistic, that he noticed as he observed the other. That casual greeting and small smile didn't help that feeling either. It was something he wasn't used to receiving, and only seemed to confuse Sephiroth further as the waitress arrived with a tray to serve the pre-ordered drinks.

He shouldn't have been surprised by the preemptive move, and he felt his lips curving up into a subtle hint of a smirk at the sight of Kuroro's chosen weapon.

"Vodka?" Sephiroth unnecessarily asked as a way to make certain that the conversation stayed away from the network announcement.

Edited 2010-06-24 03:15 (UTC)

"Vodka suits us better," he said with a grin, wider this time, before prodding a shotglass in Sephiroth's direction and pouring some for the both of them. The bottle, he replaced in the ice bucket.

The topic evasion didn't go unnoticed, but they had time -- Kuroro was willing to let the man skirt around the issue for as long as he wanted. It wasn't like Kuroro was going to let him out of the bar without discussing it, anyway. It would hopefully be before Kuroro was due to drag Kurapika to the carnival, since there was something he wanted to try.

"Drink." And he demonstrated by pulling back his shot, waiting for the warm feeling to spread down his throat and in his stomach.

He should have already come to expect that kind of answer out of the other while Kuroro poured two shots. The grin. The sense of ease. The total lack of fear was something of a comforting thought and one the ex-General wanted to deny experiencing in the first place. It was always far too easy to fall back into familiar habits and routines, and without his power or the strong pull of his cells, Sephiroth found it almost impossible to escape what he'd been running from for so long.

The firm suggestion only had Sephiroth quietly watching the meister as Kuroro downed the first shot. Turning his attention to the one waiting patiently for him, he hesitated for a few long moments before finally reaching out to do the same thing.

There was the sensation of burning running down his throat as he swallowed, but Sephiroth found that it was nothing in comparison to mako. Spinning the shotglass around, he placed it rim down on the table.

"While my experience with alcohol is lacking," Sephiroth began as the warmth from the vodka began spreading throughout his stomach. Turning the shotglass back up the correct way, his softly glowing gaze rose up to meet with Kuroro's as he said, "It is hardly the worst substance I've ingested."

"I wouldn't like to know what other things you've ingested, if that's the case," Kuroro laughed jokingly, immediately refilling their shotglasses with the vodka. "Do you want to make a contest out of this?"

Because there was nothing like a competition on who could get drunk first to get someone else drunk. Not to mentio that it could be fun. At the very least, if they were working towards a goal, it would be easier for Kuroro to sideline them to other, smaller things. Like talking about Sephiroth's morbid past.

Even if Kuroro had persisted in knowing the other substances, Sephiroth felt no desire to supply such answers. There was just something about allowing others to know about his creation that the ex-General preferred to keep to himself. Sephiroth knew well that there were too much sensitive information that could reach those he was purposefully keeping in the dark - especially now given that one of his remnants had arrived.

"A contest?" He questioned after pulling out of his thoughts. Sephiroth shouldn't have been all that surprised by the offer, and saw no reason to deny it either. The beer he'd had the previous night had hardly done anything to affect him, and while the vodka did taste stronger, Sephiroth believed that it was something he could handle. "If you insist."

Excellent! If there was one thing Sephiroth could be relied on, it was that the man was actually fairly easy to read (and therefore manipulate, if he wanted to). Kuroro only beamed at him and gulped his shot down, waiting for him to do the same. Let it not be known that Kuroro was an asshole who would see his friend drunk to cure him of his woes and anxieties.

"But if you get drunk before I do, I won't carry you back to the dorms." Well, he would. "Might drag you there, though. Bet you weigh a ton."

The expression that he was given was one Sephiroth wasn't certain how to take. It was one of the things that often threw him off about the meister, and while he'd usually adapt and continue on regardless, there was just something about Kuroro that gave him pause.

Glancing down at his filled shotglass, his lips quirked up subtly in amusement at the words spoken. "It would almost be worth it just to see you struggling," He said, but Sephiroth knew that was the barest hint of the more sadistic side of him showing. Downing the shot in the next moment, the ex-General ignored the momentary burn from the liquid as he dropped the glass back down onto the table, "Had I been in my form before arriving here, weight would have hardly been an issue."

"Yes, but then the issue would be how you'd drink while in sword form. Anyway, you'd damage the upholstery." Being pointy and sharp and all. Really, Sephiroth, what a strange suggestion.

Kuroro wasn't giving either of them the time to stop drinking, though. The moment their glasses were empty, he refilled them. Sephiroth would probably be difficult to carry, though. More because of size than weight. Also all that hair.

Sephiroth couldn't help but chuckle at Kuroro's response. Being in his weapon form was hardly what he'd meant by that, and it was with that thought that he muttered, "That wasn't what I meant."

He didn't miss the fact that the moment his empty glass was down on the table, it had instantly been refilled. Silently his cat-like gaze flickered up to regard the meister before Sephiroth inwardly shrugged his shoulders and downed the contents.

Kuroro wasn't going to stop this until either of them were drunk or even at least just moderately tipsy. There were a lot of things Kuroro was, and persistent was one of them. Soon, Sephiroth!

And then he could ask the more personal things. For now, he could settle for the more obvious and perhaps funny.

"So back in your world, you really were a general?" That redhead had said as much. Redheads were always so talkative. Kuroro rather liked them.

Sephiroth took a moment to regard the empty glass as he placed it down on the table. It didn't remain empty for long as Kuroro seemed intent on filling it with more vodka. He didn't take another drink right away, not after that question was asked from the meister in front of him.

"General... hmm," He murmured thoughtfully more to himself than to Kuroro before Sephiroth finally drank the shot down. The liquid left that pleasant burning sensation behind, and almost seemed to fit in well with the feelings such memories as they drifted up to the surface. "I might have once held such a position, yes."

"What did your army do?" If he seemed to be asking questions faster than Sephiroth could answer them, he counted on the man not noticing, or at least distracted by the alcohol to mind it. This was a good opportunity to learn more about Sephiroth apart from the obvious, and the details of his creation.

Refill the shot. Take one of his own. "I think Cloud mentioned once that he was, too, right?"

He glanced up at Kuroro at the question. It was broad, to say the least, and he wasn't quite certain if the meister meant it as a general question or why he had left it. The why he felt no desire to answer considering the memories attached to it, and so he opted for clarification, "Do? As in what way?"

Sephiroth didn't drink the refilled shot as quickly this time as the topic turned to Cloud. "Yes, he had been enlisted." He murmured before finally bringing the shot up to his lips and downing it all.

"Do, as in what are you supposed to fight? What are you supposed to protect? Military organizations work a little differently in our world, but I assume that the basic tenets of a military remains the same. You're there to conquer to expand your territory's power, or you're there to defend."

What an odd series of actions, compared to everything else Sephiroth had been doing. Or maybe Kuroro was just reading too much into it. He would ask in a bit, after this first question was answered.

There was some level of comfort in knowing that Kuroro wasn't asking about his reasons for leaving such a title behind. In fact, the question asked was far too easy to explain that if it hadn't been for the alcohol, Sephiroth would have found himself cautious.

"The military I once commanded was in charge of expanding ShinRa territory and holding their acquired land," Sephiroth offered in return. Granted, by the time he'd 'left' ShinRa, the company had already owned all of the land on Gaea. There was no further thought to expand on what he'd offered, but even despite that, Sephiroth found himself continuing, "Before my... resignation... myself and those working under me were in charge of eradicating deserters and terrorist groups."

And there Sephiroth was, openly giving Kuroro the opportunity to pry. He considered the pros and cons of it, then figured what the heck, they were drinking buddies now. He should be allowed his own lapses, or so he hoped Sephiroth wouldn't be too adverse to it.

Kuroro tilted his head to the side in open curiosity, refilling the man's shot again. Have an extra dose of casual, casual innocence. "Resignation? Why did you resign?"

Sephiroth paused at the question asked and found his gaze flickering up to regard Kuroro as he weighed whether or not to answer it. There were so many reasons that had ultimately lead to him leaving his position... leaving humanity behind... but he felt no desire to go into depths with such things.

"A conflict of interest," He finally murmured before deciding to distract himself with downing yet another filled shot. The topic was one he'd never enjoyed talking about, not even with those who had been intimately involved, and yet here he was unable to stop the words flowing from his mouth as he held the empty glass in his hand, "I discovered that those I'd once believed in had been lying to me from the beginning - that they had betrayed the trust I'd once held in them."

Ah, hence the issue with betrayal, then. And Sephiroth's tendency to close off. Interesting. What he had assumed might be a great psychological problem had turned out to be a simple and common emotional problem instead. Sephiroth didn't want to talk about it, obviously, but what did they say about facing your problems and talking about them to make things better?

"Was it your superiors?" he asked, tone mildly sympathetic but not overly so. "I understand the feeling of being betrayed, though mine was a subordinate." A bit of sharing of his own, to seem less like he was digging for information. Kuroro's secrets went only as far as withholding things from people if it wasn't useful to him, anyway.

The next question asked was one that had Sephiroth's lips curve up almost bitterly. Superiors, Genesis, Angeal, the scientists, Gast, the Planet herself. All had broken what level of trust he'd placed in them that Sephiroth simply held no desire to find himself in such a situation again.

His focus returned to the meister at the admittance before he chuckled lightly. The sound was anything but mirthful, and within moments he was shaking his head as he smiled far too pleasantly, "The betrayal of my superiors were merely the final element to my leaving their service, but they were not the only ones guilty."

"Eh?" he asked in seeming confusion, before refilling Sephiroth's glass, and making sure to take a shot of his own. His stomach was feeling a little warm, which wasn't uncomfortable for once in this city given the airconditioning of the place. "What do you mean? There were others?"

Seemed like a lot of people. He wasn't quite sure what possessed them to try to anger something like Sephiroth, given the man's temper and possessive streak. What a bundle of complications. Still, this conversation was going well. Soon enough he might be allowed to give some insight to help the man recover.

Where there others.

The smile fell from Sephiroth's expression as his thoughts drifted back to unwanted memories. "Those who I had once considered friends, the scientists on the project, the people I once protected, Hojo---" Sephiroth's words trailed off after speaking of Hojo, but there was no doubt that another name was meant to follow after. He didn't pick up the shotglass despite the fact that Kuroro had refilled it. It was so easy to get lost in memories, and the fragments he held of Gast seemed to enjoy reminding him of what he'd once lost.

"I discovered that those I'd once trusted could no longer be trusted when I discovered the reason behind my creation," Tracing the rim of the small glass with his finger, the ex-General picked it up in the next moment before bringing it up to his lips and smiling subtly, "And so I burnt down and destroyed the town I was born in before attempting to destroy the planet in my anger."

... Wasn't that a little extreme... Kuroro supported the general survival of mankind, after all, on a professional basis that without people to prey upon, the Geneiryodan would also have nothing to do and so would Kuroro's downward spiral to insanity undoubtedly begin. His pleasure was highly dependent on the existence of others, in indeterminate ways.

He considered his words carefully, because he was a hypocrite and aware of it. He had burned down an entire villag and massacred a clan for shallower reasons. Still, not the planet. More curiosity, no judgement: "Was there no other way to get revenge?" He guessed that the planet was also something to claim vengeance on. This Gaea that people from their world talked about seemed to work on a different realm of physics than theirs.

Sephiroth didn't bother hiding the chuckle at the following question. His past was one from a thousand years prior to even his birth, and far more in-depth than a simple case of being slighted.

"They kept me from my heritage, and the destiny Mother had started over a thousand years ago," He murmured. It was always so easy to fall back into normal routines. He knew well what Jenova was, and now what he was, but it was far easier than anything else to refer to her in such a way. "I was continuing her work."

That was why he had summoned Meteor to crash down on the planet so that he could absorb the energy from the Lifestream and elevate himself to the level of a God. After that, however, his anger and hatred had driven him to split part of his very soul in three so that he could escape the vile clutches of the Planet.

"Project-S. That was what I was known as before my birth," Sephiroth muttered while pulling his gaze away from the shotglass.

"Do you know what it feels like to be so overwhelmed with information that your mind cannot process the information properly? That your mind ultimately does what it can to survive to the point where you lose yourself and become something entirely different," Sephiroth asked instead before saying, "When I had once believed I had been human, I discovered that I was nothing but an experiment, a monster created through science to appease the egos of those who had created me so that they could being in possession of the greatest weapon known to humanity. A weapon that even the planet herself would stop at nothing to strip bare and destroy."

Hmm. How complicated. He looked properly curious, and then surprised, and mildly perturbed at parts of the story, but his mind was already hard at work. Take a shot, Kuroro. Stall for time as he sifted through the information, came up with ten different theories and possible ways to salvage this, figure out where to agree and disagree. It didn't occur to him to reach any point of disbelief -- Sephiroth wouldn't lie about something like this, proud man as he was.

"Then," Kuroro started slowly, thoughtfully, "Do you like your heritage?"

Kuroro's question actually managed to catch Sephiroth by surprise - enough so that the anger beginning to fester within disappeared in that same moment. He had never considered it in such a context before, and that much showed on his expression for the briefest of moments.

"I am what I am, and I accepted and embraced it long ago." Sephiroth eventually admitted before glancing down to his hand. He had a body now, but the ex-General knew well that he was anything but human. "That is why I sought to leave Gaea."

"Then if you've accepted what you are, embraced it long ago, generally seem fine with the fact that you are your mother's son, and that you've destroyed the people who have created you--" There was no simpler way to go about asking this. Maybe politeness would help. "Then why does it still affect you? Isn't it true that being able to accept it -- embrace it, even -- is a sign that you have already transcended what they've done to you, that you've triumphed over it?" Again, only plain inquiry, with no room for judgment. Kuroro wasn't interested in justifying the actions of someone else, when he was about as amoral as a person could go.

He had accepted what he was, but Sephiroth had gone to all length to hide it as well. Being here without his powers had been far too much of a toll on his mind, and it was reminding him well of what he used to be.

"And yet here I am being not only a weapon for another, but a science experiment once again," Sephiroth's words trailed off for a moment before he shook his head, "Perhaps it is merely my fate."

Everything always seemed to be out of his control no matter how much he attempted otherwise.

Ah, here, Kuroro could at least right him, in his small ways. "You seem to be under the impression that weapons are inferior to meisters here in this world, and you seem to have assumed that the BREW is in any way scientific."

He nudged the shot glass forward, still filled with Sephiroth's vodka, before propping his chin on his hand. "Let me guess: Your idea of power is freedom."

"The concept of a weapon is what I hold difficulties in accepting," BREW wasn't what he'd had been speaking about, but Sephiroth dropped the topic entirely. There was little point in bringing up Crane and just how much that attack had shaken him. If only he hadn't been so weak to let his guard down - that was what happened when he underestimated his opponents.

Turning his attention down to the shot glass, Sephiroth regarded it quietly before reaching out and slowly bringing it back into his possession. "I wished to be free of the planet that loathes my very existence, yes," Sephiroth muttered honestly before pausing long enough to down the shot, "But even with having the power of a God I was unable to obtain what I desired."

What did he even consider as power any longer? All that came to mind were the skills that he had lost since arriving here. He had wanted all of his life to be the same as everyone else, and now that he had something close to it, Sephiroth desired the return of his true strength.

There were so many things he could pick on from that. Pointedly, even as he was refilling Sephiroth's glass (they needed another bottle), he said, "Aren't you here and away from your planet now? If that's your desire, then it shouldn't matter if you obtained it via your powers or because another world decided it wants you in it."

Pessimistic. That was what Sephiroth was. For all his bravado and gravitas, Sephiroth was just like any other man with all their issues and complications. Sephiroth's was just bigger and more tangled than most, but he was still just a man regardless. "And weapons here aren't weak just because they turn into objects. Between a weapon and a meister, I'd say the weapon would have more chances of surviving battle here. The fact that the Deathscythes are celebrated here when the meisters are not should already be an indication of that."

"This planet was not my decision," What Kuroro spoke of was similar to what Cloud had said not long after they'd formed their partnership. The fact that a world might actually desire his presence left an unsettling feeling within his body, and Sephiroth wasn't quite certain what to make of it all. Besides, if he were to go to another planet, he would have preferred to have the decision to which one.

So, Kuroro wished that he simply accepted his fate as a weapon? The glory wasn't anything he desired, and whether they were weak or not was of no true consequence to him. No, what truly bothered him was the fact that he couldn't be in control of his actions.

For too long his sense of control had been at the hands of others, and it was something that continued here regardless. He trusted Cloud to remain true to his word, but the blonde was the only one he had gathered any level-- of--

Sephiroth's eyes subtly widened at where his thoughts were going before he narrowed them and glanced away. "I care nothing for being 'celebrated'," He coolly said even if Sephiroth knew well that nothing of the sort would ever happen here. He'd been on enough pedestals that he desired to be on no other.

Thoroughly distracted from his thoughts, the ex-General glanced back towards the meister as he regarded Kuroro quietly. There was no doubt to what the other was doing, and Sephiroth wasn't quite certain what to make of it all. "I've yet to figure you out," Sephiroth muttered after a moment, "The efforts behind your actions clearly aren't worth the results you receive in return, and yet you still persist."

"So then power to you is control." Not a difficult conclusion to make -- Kuroro should have figured it out long ago. Sephiroth being a megalomaniac, Crane had said as much, but Kuroro liked testing the waters. Freedom did not equal control. Freedom was the end result of control, and Sephiroth in that sense was like him. The only difference was that control was applied differently, and Kuroro tended to let his control here and there go in favor of certain interesting things.

"The value of what I receive in return for my efforts, and the value of the effort given," Kuroro said, smiling crookedly as he paused (for dramatic effect) and took a shot. "These are things that can only be measured by myself." And the results were well worth it -- would be well worth it in the long run. The Geneiryodan, after all, was built on loyalty and loyalty alone.

Kuroro's words seemed to give the ex-General pause. Losing any sense of his control left him feeling far too off guard and unbalanced. ShinRa had kept him on a short leash, and he'd barely had time to regain his ground after deserting himself before his mind had delved into insanity.

He listened quietly to what the meister said. Sephiroth truly should have expected such an answer, but he'd found himself annoyingly curious. It was almost similar to what he would say to Cloud, and while he should have been cautious, Sephiroth couldn't find it within to muster up such a state.

"It sounds like an answer I would give Cloud," Sephiroth observed thoughtfully before finally reaching forward and taking the shot glass to down it.

"What does that tell you, if I would give you an answer that you would give Cloud?" Oh, so many implications he could take advantage of, if it meant well. Kuroro wasn't actually sure, but it was a gander he was willing to take given how fond Sephiroth seemed to be of his meister.

Refill, laugh. "Let's go back to the beginning of this conversation. Isn't accepting what you are and your heritage a sign of control?"

His cat-like pupils thinned as Kuroro decided to probe further on his observation. "That there are other motives behind your actions," Sephiroth easily said while his glowing gaze remained transfixed on the meister. "And if it truly was an answer of a similar fashion, that you would stop at nothing to get what you want."

He knew well the meaning behind his own words to Cloud, but he wasn't quite convinced whether Kuroro's would be the same. There were some differences since he would never give his meister anything without there being ulterior motives, but Kuroro had showed no such signs.

The laugh broke him out of his thoughts, and within moments, Sephiroth was frowning. It appeared as though the other meister wasn't about to let the topic drop. "One could see it as that," The ex-General murmured cautiously before he glanced to the side, "Yet even with my decision there are those that wish to challenge it."

Crafty, suspicious man, this Sephiroth. Kuroro only laughed again and waved a waitress over to bring them another bottle of their poison. He didn't seem too bothered by the eyes, just as he wasn't ruffled by many things. He only returned his chin to his hand and gave Sephiroth one of his more open smiles. "I told you before when we first met that I want an ally in you. I'm perfectly willing to earn your friendship. That is something that I value, and I am giving an equal worth of effort for it."

But back to the real topic at hand. For a man who fancied himself as confident, Sephiroth had so many insecurities. "Your decision is your own. You're your own man, have your own identify, can think for yourself. You may be stuck in a situation not of your own doing, are a weapon despite your seemingly big dislike for it, and may seem to have no control over a situation, but you can still make decisions outside of these, choose your own partner, fight battles. You have your sanity. I would think that is something of an achievement, considering all you've been through."

He waited patiently for his answer, but whether he wanted to know it or not was another thing. The smile did little to calm his sense of unease. There was always far more hidden behind them than any stony expression, but unlike Kuroro, he simply wasn't capable of giving such gestures in these types of situations.

The fact that Kuroro once again drilled that value home didn't go by unnoticed. Persistence, that was the first word that came to mind when it came to the meister. Friendship, on the other hand, was something that he had given up on a long time ago. Such a thing was something he hadn't even accepted from Cloud despite the blonde's attempts to offer such a thing.

Sephiroth felt his eyes widen at the following words the Kuroro spoke. It wasn't the majority of the content that had caught his interest, but the fact that the other meister seemed to believe that he still had any sense of sanity remaining. The thought caused him to give Kuroro and odd look, as if he wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation, before he forced it away for later thought.

There were some valid points otherwise, but despite all that was said, the ex-General could find no words to return to Kuroro. For the first time he was rendered without an answer or a debate and the thought caused his lips to curve up subtly into a bemused smirk. Picking up the shot, Sephiroth downed it.

"I see that I've rendered you speechless with my brilliance," Kuroro teased, refilling Sephiroth's shot immediately. "I feel that I'm probably wrong in many things, like for example your sanity, judging by the expression on your face. I think you're pretty sane, though. I've seen insanity, and that is not the man sitting in front of me, able to take a bottle worth of vodka without keeling over."

Kuroro had, for example, had to face Hisoka's obsession with him, and while he could argue that Hisoka was sometimes pretty sane, another side of him also wanted to point out the the damn clown usually got erections just looking at Kuroro. No, Sephiroth was pretty sane considering all he knew of the man.

The teasing earnt Kuroro a glare in return, but there was no real heat in the gesture. While it may not have been what he'd call brilliance, what the other had said was something he felt no desire to comment on - loath as he was to admit it.

Still, to him, sanity was in the eye of the beholder. Not that he truly thought that he was insane, not to the level where he no longer knew what was occurring around at all times, but the ex-General would hardly claim that he held nothing but sanity either. That inept fool, Hojo, held no semblance of sanity, and yet he still maintained enough logical sense to hold the head position of the ShinRa science department. Then again, knowing what he did of that fool seemed to answer much when it came to his mental condition.

"Some might disagree," Sephiroth initially said with a dismissive tone before he muttered, "It seems that all it takes is a second death to return some semblance of sanity."

“The way I see it, sanity is the ultimate form of control.” Kuroro’s own obsession with control wasn’t a particularly big secret by now, given the shadow event some weeks past. His sanity was his greatest possession, and also his most formidable one. You couldn’t find a more stable-minded person than Kuroro Lucifer. “Insanity steals from you your identity, your purpose, your logic, and everything that marks you as who you are. Controlling others is only secondary to your control of your self. As long as you can retain any semblance of such, I don’t think you’re any worse off. Even in this world, they recognize insanity as a driving force to their end. Kishin Asura represents Madness.”

Sephiroth found his attention snapping back to Kuroro at the words. It hadn't been until his second rebirth that he'd regain any shred of his mind, but even before he fell into the grips of insanity, control had never been his. Perhaps now was the first time that he'd had a clear enough mind to see.

Lowing her gaze down to his glass, Sephiroth fell silent while he pondered that thought. "There are some who were born already with their mind lost to insanity, but function without hindrance," Hojo was one such person. Despite the cold logic and attempted brilliance that inept fool had, Sephiroth held no delusions to the state of Hojo's mind. Why he was thinking of him was something Sephiroth wasn't certain of, but he pushed the thoughts aside as his attention returned back to Kuroro.

"I hold no doubt that I'll refrain from returning to my mind's previous state. The way I am now will get me what I desire." Even if he still wore the mask of insanity to all those he did not see as worthy.

"If he was functional, then I don't think he was completely insane." Kuroro didn't even know the man, but he had several rules in life about insanity, and it applied to this one. "Deliberately wanting to do something and committing acts of insanity doesn't make one insane."

Another shot, and Kuroro also took one. The vodka this time had flavor. Melon, or something equally and distressingly fruity. Refreshing enough, he supposed. "The way you are now is a pretty cool guy. I think you'll be fine."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Close] Been away for far too long.

no subject

/craaaawls through tags

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

sob I am sorry, I lost a lot of Kuroro's notifications.

<3333 I lost a lot of notifs as well, so it's all good :3

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject