soul_logs | [closed.]

Entry tags:

[closed.]

Characters: Sugata Shindou (

peacocked) & Takuto Tsunashi (

tauborn)
Location: their apartment
Rating: PG??? with strong feelings of angst? idek ._.a
Time: backdated to August 21st, evening.
Description: Sugata breaks the news to Takuto that he's ~~pregnant~~ moving out and living with Nanami.

When Sugata made the decision to move out, that was back when they weren't talking. And now that they've made up and moved past this he... can't help but feel guilty that he's leaving Takuto. He knows how fragile the other can get, and really got used to being able to keep a closer eye on him. But, at the same time, he made a promise to Nanami. And he'd rather not go back on his word.

He heaves a heavy sigh as he waits for Takuto to get back from his shift with the watch. He knows he probably should have told the other sooner, but they all had such a great time at the gala. He didn't want to ruin that for Takuto. Not after things finally got better. He still didn't really know how he'd bring it up to the other either.

As he waits and tries to figure out how he's going to bring this up, he absentmindedly starts petting the dog. You know something's eating away at Sugata when he starts petting the dog of his own free will.

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"I suppose Firecracker will get a whole room to himself?" He shrugs. "It'll be like before Yuugi moved in."

Which wasn't exactly one of the highlights of his life judging by the slight distance that suddenly seems to appear in his eyes. But he's shakes it off, not wanting Sugata to feel guilty or worry about him. Besides, there are advantages to living alone. "I can always invite Yako over with inconveniencing anyone, of course."

"I'm... sure he'd be excited. Just make sure he doesn't wet the bed." Not that Firecracker has ever peed in the house (as far as he knows), but still. "Don't close the door in on him either."

As much as he tries to hide it or shake it off, Sugata sees that distant look. And it's not one of his favorite looks. He opens his mouth to suggest him moving in with Nanami, there should be plenty of room in that house of hers, at least...) but he stops when he hears the other's plan.

"Ah... well... there's that too."

Firecracker is very well house-trained, and Sugata knows it!

He cracks a grin, certain that Sugata is at least a little bit jealous (even though he's missing the mark on the actual target of the jealousy). Though it'll be extra nice if he can spend time with Yako without having to be around Sasha....

"But I don't know yet if Yuugi actually plans to move out, or what."

If only he knew how much that comment literally hurt him. Too bad he wears too many masks for that. Sooo it's his loss. It doesn't stop him from shrinking a little in on himself though.

"Of course."

And this is exactly why Takuto dislikes masks. Though obviously his encounters with the Crux and Death City's Erinyes have made his distaste for the things even stronger.

"So... maybe we should do something together, if you're not going to be staying here much longer." He thinks about it for a moment, and ultimately his stomach decides. "First things first--dinner."

But masking his emotions is how he gets through life. Which is something he does now. The teeny ounce of sadness he might have let slipped through, is masked with one of his standard smiles he only shows around his close friends.

He laughs a little and shakes his head. "Dinner would be nice."

Takuto jumps up from the couch and heads towards the kitchen, followed by Firecracker, who knows the word "dinner" and also knows to be in the kitchen whenever Takuto is there.

He peers into a cupboard. "Um... rice? And... and there might be a bit of salmon left over from the other night...." Add some soy sauce and that is a balanced meal, right?

He gets up and follows suit. "That sounds nice. Can I help with anything?"

"Want to set the table?" It's not going to be much of a fancy dinner, after all. The rice just has to go in the rice cooker and then the salmon is going to be reheated in the microwave. He starts measuring the rice, rinses it, and then dumps it into the rice cooker with the appropriate amount of water.

"Sure." With that he nods and as he makes his way around Takuto to get the plates, bowls, napkins, and chopsticks. Once he has the things he needs he makes his way out of the kitchen and goes about setting the table.

The apartment is quiet for a moment with just the sounds of domesticity and the quite tapping of Firecracker's paws as he follows Sugata around curiously. But since it's still on his mind with all the talk of Yuugi....

"Sugata? What do you think about people partnering up?" He means it in a general sense, of course.

Once he's done setting the table he takes a seat and starts scratching behind Firecracker's ears. So, okay, the dog might be getting under his skin a little. So sue him. He pauses though at the question and looks up in thought.

"As far as this world goes with weapons and meisters?"

"Yes, of course." He's been here too long to think that 'partner' really refers to anything else anymore. He turns around to watch Sugata at the table.

"I mean, do you think that people really ought to partner up like that? That it's really for the best to choose one person and train with them exclusively and live with them?"

He hums quietly to himself. "I think so, yes. Partnering up with someone here could definitely be compared to dating someone in real life. While it might be fun to meet and date new people constantly I think you grow more as a person when you're in a... committed relationship, so to speak. You discover new things about yourself and about your partner that you would never discover if you were casually dating them. They know your inner workings and can build you up when you really need it. And vice versa.

"You gain a trust you'd never be able to get if you weren't in a committed relationship. I know I personally would prefer that in the end. While it's nice to test the waters with different meisters, I'd rather find that person I work really well with. Someone I can be myself around and not have to worry about them discovering something I wouldn't want them to know. Something I wouldn't trust them knowing." He pauses. He can definitely name a few things he'd rather some people not know about him here.

"Does that make sense?"

He makes a face. "Do you have to compare it to dating?" But he can see where Sugata is coming from, at least, with the explanation. Still, he has his misgivings about actual, official partnerships.

"I get what you mean, but I guess I just don't know. I did it, you know? I had a partner for a long time. And it's like you said--you get to depend on them and trust them in a way that's different than other people." He shakes his head. "But where am I now, after all that? I feel like in the end, I've only moved backwards."

He rests his arms in his lap once more as he listens to Takuto prattle on about his old partnership. He wasn't really sure what to make about Takuto's partnership with Aion? Was that his name? Anyway, whomever it was wasn't really important. But yes, he didn't... really know everything that happened. That was still all a gray area for Takuto. The only thing he does know is that he left and that... really broke Takuto. And--

Hey, wait a minute.... This was kind of sort of starting to make sense now.

"I think that's because you're afraid of getting that close to people again. I know you wouldn't have an issue with it if you weren't afraid they'd leave you again." He pauses. "And I can't imagine how hard that must have been, especially when you have to go through it by yourself. But I want you to know that that's something you don't need to kick yourself over for. People worry about that all the time. About their loved ones or people they get close to, to suddenly leave, or disappear from their lives completely." He pauses as he looks down at Firecracker.

"That's one of the reasons why I haven't gotten close to the others back home. I know most of them will want to leave the island one day to spread their wings."

He sighs and sits at the table, resting his head on it like some caricature of depression. "Of course I'm afraid of all that. People leaving, dying, being sent home--whatever the circumstances or whatever you choose to call it... it's a fact of life, and it hurts." He rolls his head over, so it's his cheek instead of his forehead that's resting on the table, his crimson eyes cast towards Sugata's amber ones.

"I think it's obvious that despite that fact of life, I just keep going and going. It's like, if you know you're only going to have a little bit of time, then you've really got to make the most of it. So that the joy can outweigh the sadness. But I think I really don't know when to stop, but I'm pretty sure there is a stopping point."

He frowns, not sure if he's making sense. "What I'm trying to say is that there were things about my partnership with Aion that were... rather unhealthy. I'm not sure what would stop me from doing the same thing again."

He listens quietly and nods along every now and then. He could understand where Takuto was coming from, honestly. He was trying to soak up as much as he could while he was here. He knows what's awaiting him back home, even if Takuto told him that things are different after he seals himself away. So he understands completely. "It's like that saying that goes: all good things must come to an end eventually."

He pauses as he looks over at Takuto. "Like what, if you don't mind me asking?"

He drags in a deep breath and sits up a little, idly poking at one of the plates Sugata put on the table.

"I was pretty dependent on him towards the end. I remember he had to carry me into the apartment when we first moved in. I had nightmares that wouldn't go away unless I was with him. I felt lost unless he was near me. Even at the time, I think some part of me knew it wasn't the smartest idea, but I felt like I didn't have any other options. He was my rock. And I clung to him way too tightly, because I was terrified of being swept back out to sea."

"And then he left...." He pauses. "Was this.... before or after you were... taken by the witches?" Was it witches? He's pretty sure someone mentioned that it was the witches who kidnapped him and did terrible terrible things to him. But he can't remember who it was that took him now.

"After." He turns a small smile to Sugata. "Before the mess with the witches, we had a fight because I was determined that we would be partners. We'd been on all sorts of missions together, but he kept holding out on me, so I gave him a good punch to the face."

And without warning he's going rather still and his voice becomes only barely audible. "Later, when I needed it most, he returned it."

"Why would he hold out on you? Did he not want to be your partner, or something?" This was the first time Takuto would willingly talk about the things that happened back when he first got here, so he's a little curious. He has so many questions, but he also doesn't want to overwhelm Takuto. He knows the other needs to take it slow when it involves talking about these things.

He shakes his head and then, surprisingly, he's grinning. "Aion is a demon. I had to prove that even though I'm just a human, I'm strong enough to be a demon's equal."

"He... was?" Well that's new information! And... kind of explained the little things he has learned about Takuto's old partner.

Takuto nods. "He had wings and could fly and he had this kind of tail-thing that was really sharp. He was really strong and had a pretty incredible weapon form, too."

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