[Open] Let's try this again

[everylastone]

Characters: Eren and Open
Location: Casualty Communal, basement
Rating: PG-13
Time: June 20th
Description: Turning into a hungry titan is something to chew on, and Eren isn’t sure he’s ready to stomach it yet. Locking himself into the basement feels oddly consoling, although sitting still doesn’t comes there easily either.


It had been a couple of days since they had been dragged back forcefully recovered from that mission that had gone wrong. Even though all of Eren’s wounds had already healed – literally all of them, when his titan powers returned that had included his abnormal healing rate which had taken care of not only his mangled limbs and malnourishment, but even of the small surgery they had had to do on his neck as well – the teen still didn’t feel any better about what had happened.

In fact, thinking of it made him feel pretty sick.

He had turned into a titan and lost control again. Worse, he had not only been attempting to hurt people and left damage on the village that was hard to overlook, but he had been hungry enough to attempt catching and eating other living beings as well. And in at least one case, he had also succeeded…

The memory had Eren press a hand against his mouth in order to resist the urge to hurl as he kept steadily climbing down the stairs with a fixed goal in his mind. Nobody had come to take him down, as should have happened. He knew he should have felt grateful for that, but he wasn’t. Instead it felt as if an important promise had been ignored, even though he still didn’t want to die.

No, he couldn’t die. Not as long as even one of the titans was still left alive!

…even if that meant that he’d have to end up killing himself too at some point. Finally reaching the bottom of the steps, Eren fumbled for the keys that he had gotten himself for one of the rooms within the basement. Locking himself up there was no solution, but he felt that he would feel better if he could use a semi-familiar environment while he attempted to sort his thoughts on the matter of his titan-mess. It hadn’t helped within the last couple of days, but who knew, maybe today-

The key slipped from between his fingers and landed with a clatter on the ground rather than to undo the lock as intended. Muttering a low “Oh, come on now” under his breath, Eren crouched down to retrieve it. Maybe he should have thought to switch on the light after all.

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[pregames]

Admittedly there was, in fact, a part of Atem that wanted to sigh, to wave it off, quote the oft repeated mantra that of this world, and Shibusen and the other guests But when he witnessed the fear and skepticism that Eren clung to with all his stubborn resolved it was like gazing into a mirror and finding a reflection of himself from not so long ago. And it compelled him.

"You have to trust me you know." Atem looked back at Eren, looked pointedly at the only other person in the room where a promise at been made. One that required such faith above all else to serve its purpose.

Without expecting a reply, he turned, facing forward again and providing his wordless consent.

[everylastone]

Eren licked his lips. "Easier said than done."

Not when even some of his best friends for years could have been traitors all along. He had to be careful... He held the gaze for a moment, but then turned away, a fleeting shade of sadness in his eyes. Eren clenched his fists and concentrated on recalling the mantra of how to kill a titan in his mind instead. There was no time or place to let himself be sad over such things.

"In order to kill a titan," he intoned, "you need to aim for the nape of its neck. The area from the back of the head to the nape of the neck..." he brushed a finger against the place where he would cut if Atem where a titan and his enemy, "...one meter length. Ten centimeters wide. And you'll have to cut-" He pushed against the warm skin under his hand," as deep as you can. You'll have to cleanly cleave it right out with all your might. Otherwise I'll just stand up and try to kill you again."

[pregames]

Atem knew that was true about what he had asked, complete with his own array of unpleasant memories to back it up, hence why he chose to remain silent and simply let Eren explain. He listened without flinching, making sense of the details inwardly. It was a relatively small, vulnerable space on a human. Picturing it on the titan that Eren had it become made it so much more formidable. It was almost human sized. The designation of a meter made sense.

"So that is the only weak point?" He turned to face Eren, figuring the demonstration was over, although it had brought up a few more dilemmas than could be solved easily. "I supposed I should work on my flying."

[everylastone]

"Yeah." He nodded solemnly. "Tearing my head off or targeting my limbs might be able to stop me for a couple of minutes, but it happened before and it doesn't stop me. And..."

He licked his lips. "I'll know that it's my only weakpoint. Expect me to be expect attacks aiming for it and to be prepared in some way." It was easier to imagine that they were merely talking about the female type titan, at least until he remembered who had been the person inside it. Annie, one of the few friends he had made and who had taught him how to fight and survive. His teacher, friend, mentor and ... maybe also somebody he had thought he could somehow help in return.

Instead he had helped to bring her down.

Closing his eyes he exhaled with a sight, telling himself that what had been done had been done and that he had made his decision back then in just the same manner as she had. Annie had decided to turn against them and attack humans. Eren had decided to fight her as an enemy. There was nothing to regret. When he opened his eyes they were firm and burning with the calm, steady firm of conviction again.

He wasn't going to tell Atem about the probability that he might be able to harden his skin into natural armor the way Annie had done. That was his decision as well.


...He only hoped that there'd never be a reason to regret it.

[pregames]

Little by little it was becoming clear how Eren had charged him with such a tall order. The way he explained it, the titans sounded near invincible especially for one with no native understanding of them, no skills or tolls to tackle such an impressive obstacle.

Not like he wanted it to be too easy or anything. That was what he could say. Or he could paint a pretty picture with words or reassurance and resolve. Instead he chose to remain silent in the face of Eren’s own. Eren, who was fast becoming what he pharaoh would consider a friend in spite of himself, he wore a look, like that of an almost child trying to make sense of a world around them, a world that could be hopelessly cruel and no amount of pushing or shoving would help him to process that any better.

The odds were clear. There was not point in putting words to what they already knew, even less in trying to distract from the facts. There was really only one thing Atem could say. "I made a promise. If I could offer more I would."

Exhaling, he attempted to release some of the tension he held in his hands and shoulders. It was dissatisfying to leave it at that, a flame snuffed out, but anything more would just be pointless sentiment.

[everylastone]

Eren hesitated a second, his face saying that he wanted to add something more as he almost reached out to touch the person he just knew as 'Pharaoh'. But then the moment had passed and he exhaled not unlike Atem had as he took a step back and straightened his shoulders in a relaxed confident way again.

"Thanks," he smiled, a little expression that danced around the corners of his lips and eyes that were still drawn in a perpetual scowl. It was more honest than the one that he flashed strangers to show that he was no enemy. "Having you try is all that I can ask for."

Shifting for a moment he felt compelled to add "Usually there'd be a group of people who'd take care of that, but-" his gaze wandered to the floor and for a moment he felt like a helpless kid again, "-most of them died not too long ago. They were trying to protect me."

[pregames]

There it was again. Another little piece of Eren’s life that came together to form the larger catastrophe and Atem felt for him in a way that didn’t entirely make sense to him.

“Your world seems like no place to live.” The words fell straight from mind to mouth before he could run them through a filter. Realizing it only belatedly, he tensed instinctively.

"I’m sorry." He continued hastily, in a sort of rush that might sound off handed but when a pharaoh spoke those words it was anything but. He wasn't just apologizing for what he said, nor the circumstances that constituted Eren’s reality, the only life he had known. He knew it wasn't quite fair to empathize as if is life were somehow less because of it. But there were certain universal facets of the human condition that he recognized, that they both shared to some degree and he could at the very least express those same sentiments he had never heard.

I’m sorry that you never got to be a kid, I’m sorry that you are faced with so much responsibility, I’m sorry that so much blood is on your hands, I’m sorry that you don’t have a choice. Most of all he's sorry that it never gets acknowledged.

[everylastone]

"....." Eren gave him a perplexed look that turned from one of questioning surprise to a small heartfelt smile.

"No, you're right. It really isn't." Not even guessing the deep dark thoughts the other teen was having he flashed him an expression that was full of heartfelt conviction and confidence. "But we're going to make it one again. No matter how hard and long the struggle, bit by bit, we'll take this world back and make it ours again."

"That's what I believe- no, what I'm sure of." It didn't matter how much he was put through or if anybody acknowledged it or not. It wasn't as if he was the only one who had to shoulder a burden nor that anybody was trying to ignore it out of malicious intent. They all carried and struggled the same. And even if he wasn't there to do his part they'd still keep on fighting and find a way. So it would never be for nothing. "My friends and comrades are still doing their best out there. That's why I'm going to do the same and return to them as soon as possible."