[Closed] Mission 158c

[3rdbest]

Characters: Matt and Sollux
Location: Australia
Rating: PG
Time: 6th May
Description: Investigators have reported a dramatic increase of Kishin Egg attacks throughout the whole east/south-eastern side of Australia. Attacks have been mainly in unpopulated areas throughout those areas, but have gradually been moving towards more densely populated regions. Reports confirm what the locals known as drop bears being the culprit behind the attacks, and have warned how vicious the bears can be. Shibusen agents are urged to be extra vigilant on these missions as these monsters method of claiming victims is to drop down on them from above.


[ Alright, mission time. In Australia. Actually, Matt has never been to Australia, but he knows plenty about it. For example- ] Did you know Australia is the continent made to kill humans. Pretty much everything kills you except rocks. And it has the most poisonous animals in the world.

[ aka, Matt hates this mission already. Considering his record of getting bitten by animals during missions, this isn't a good place to be. ]

But here he is, in Australia, stalking kishin eggs called "bear drops": koalas who jump down from trees onto their enemies. Uh. Even Koalas can kill you, it seems. ]

Comments

[silicomb]

Remind me why we took a mission in the middle of Kill-You Country.

[ this is looking to be one of their worst ideas so far. see, Sollux made the mistake of reading up on this Australia and its geography. Climate, lifeforms, the whole works.

The entire continent, so he'd gathered, was little more than a gauntlet of pain and unfortunate ends. Considering Matt's record with the like, this was the last place they wanted to be. ]

Couldn't we have just looked for lost mewbeasts?

[3rdbest]

Because koalas doesn't seem as dangerous as giant slugs or giant lizard men. [ though Matt has even been bitten by a penguin. ]

We just have to avoid anything that moves, how hard can it be right? [ so much sarcasm.

Anyway, Matt starts walking. They have some koalas to find ]

So they literally bear-drop on us. Watching out for cute fuckers at a top of trees then.

[silicomb]

If we get our asses eaten because of some fucking tree-borne bears, I'm going to haunt your sorry ectoplasmic posterior until you boil yourself into nonexistence.

[ he's so enthused, it's utterly obvious how enthused he really is. but he follows along after Matt, keeping close as he dares. At least if one of the fuckers drops in on them, they'll hit the larger target of Matt.

right? totally right. yeah.

hopefully. ]

If we survive this, I'm going to buy out the whole fucking sweet shop.

[3rdbest]

[ he laughs ]

Well, at least you are easy to please. [ the red head isn't, however. He will want three packs of cigars and the two new games that came out and he still couldn't find online to download.

the redhead isn't actually smoking this time, but after the mission, he will smoke like a goddamn chimney.

Approaching the area where the reports mentioned the bear drops, he turns to the troll ]

So, my Meister. Let's do our best. [ the redhead holds out his hand to him.

calling Sollux "his" Meister. Nice.

He actually likes the idea of being partnered with the troll ]

[silicomb]

We're going to die.

[ Cheerful to the end, that's Sollux. But he reaches out in kind, taking Matt's hand with a sort of grim determination.

If he's going to get his face eaten off by flying bears, the least he could do was die fighting or at least attempting to. Maybe even with just the thought of fighting in mind. Yeah, that'd do. ]

[3rdbest]

That's what this continent exists for, after all.

[ The moment they hold hands, Matt turns into his weapon form. ]

Hey, open a portal facing a wall or a tree. This way, if they drop, we just have to open another portal on the floor as they fall, and they end up hitting the wall. [ it also gets the kishin eggs as far away from the both of them as possible ]

[silicomb]

[ he's learned about enough not to drop or fumble with Matt's weapon form right off the bat, at least. instead, he hefts the gun with some semblance of competence and confidence and preens a little at himself. ]

Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.

[ intoned as he fires at a sturdy-looking tree, opening the first of what he hopes will be many portals.

god he hates this continent. ]

And if they miss the damn thing? What then?

[3rdbest]

I still can shoot bullets.

So I guess- fire at the thing? [ Matt looks around and since they aren't in eminent danger yet, he is allowed to go silent for a second there, to focus on their resonance, in hopes to make it stronger. ]

[silicomb]

Works for me. I'll treat you to a new carton of cancer twigs if you get out of this bite-free.

[ he says it jokingly, a little more than distracted as his attention snaps onto their resonation in kind. not so bad, now was it? ]

[3rdbest]

I might buy you a beer if you don't get jumped by a koala. [ he chuckles ]

Let's go.