soul_logs | [Closed] say hello then say farewell

Entry tags:

[Closed] say hello then say farewell

Characters: Kotetsu & Barnaby
Location: tegur and bani and maple apartment
Rating: PG
Time: March 25, night
Description: Some people can handle emotional turmoil better than others. As much as he tries, Kotetsu is not one of those people.

When Kotetsu finally returned home from Rei's place, he at least had some company on the walk there to keep him from being entirely miserable; an armful of pets. Even though he wasn't quite sure what to do with all of them along with Potato, he decided it was just something Barnaby and him would figure out in the next few days. Of course, if Kaede took a liking to any of the extra small guests in the house, it would be hard for him to say no.

'Which one would she like the most.' Kotetsu thought absentmindedly as he sat at the couch (his temporary sleeping spot after Kaede had arrived. She didn't seem too enthusiastic about sharing a bed, so she had kicked him out, and asking Barnaby to share his room was out of the question, so there was only one spot left for him until they figured out what their living situation would become), distant eyes watching Potato play around with Cat, all while Loaf (Kotetsu could never remember his name was Enma, but it didn't matter because Loaf was just easier to memorize, especially with that appearance) dozed off in a corner with Lucky.

His lips almost quirked slightly at the sight of them all, until he remembered Rei, and his momentary feeling of amusement was gone as he just rubbed at his face, fingers running through his hair as he lowered his head to stare at his feet.

For a second, he saw a body covered in a white sheet, and immediately Kotesu shut his eyes tightly.

He was such a useless person.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Another scoff of a laugh came from Kotetsu at Barnaby's words as he shook his head. "It's just a one time thing, don't worry about it. 'sides, you're young." Not to mention he knew these sorts of impulses weren't common for Barnaby, so he could handle a drinking night rather well, or at least he assumed so.

"It's all fine like this. Makes it feel more like home. --my home, at least." Barnaby's place had always been nothing but empty and spotless, aside from that night they babysat, but the mess had of course been mainly Kotetsu's doing.

As he glanced around the living room though, his beer back in his hand, he couldn't help but suddenly feel just the slightest bit homesick. The couch didn't feel familiarly lumpy, his record player with all his vinyl couldn't provide him with some nice background music, and his family photos were gone. Kotetsu stared off to the right, as if expecting them to be there, but they weren't.

"...hey, Bunny?"

Barnaby figured he could, even if it left him with a rough morning. He would just go slowly, just in case. At least he had his youth to him, and with Kotetsu feeling a little more at home--in that mess he called an apartment--then this was nothing particularly new and therefore just a bit more comforting. It worked for him.

Moving the can away, he swished the contents inside, letting his fingers take in the cold feeling underneath. Yet another night with the two of them sitting on this couch in this place that felt oddly foreign... Oh. "Yes?"

Abandoning the alcohol for a short moment, Kotetsu leaned back and let his hands rest on his lap, fingers eventually fiddling around with the assortment of items on his wrists; his callband, his watch, his bracelet. Some of the few things he still had as mementos of their world, items that hadn't really had much sentimentality to them as they did now.

"I know this probably sounds like a dumb question but, you miss home, right?"

Missing home... Barnaby stopped moving the can around in his hand to look at Kotetsu, but he soon turned his eyes back to the wall before them. Home, Sternbild, was a far different world than this one. Although the technology was on the same level, so many things differed, from fighting styles to daily behaviors and occupations.

Being here was settling, but an odd sort. No matter how long they stayed or how many memories they showed, this wasn't quite a 'home'. After a few seconds of pause, he just nodded solemnly.

"Of course," he replied. "My chair, Sternbild's nighttime skyline, being a hero with you... Nothing is the same here, and it won't be until we return home."

There was a little amused scoff as, of all the things Barnaby could mention first, it had to be his chair. Kotetsu had been ready to leap right on in to interrupt him with a joke, say something about how that poor chair of his was probably lonely without anyone to sit on it, not even a single extra bit of furniture to keep it company--

but then he continued on, to that sky that didn't look anything like the one in Death City (mostly because Sternbild's moon didn't exactly have a face on it), and then... 'Being a hero with you'. All of a sudden a fond warmth spread through Kotetsu's chest and the smile that followed was instant, his fingers focusing more on fiddling with his callband.

A year. They hadn't been heroes together for a year, hadn't spoken or even seen each other. That weird slip of time that Barnaby wasn't included in; Kotetsu had to wonder in times like these whether or not Barnaby would feel the same then as he did now, or if he felt like this at all, that whole time.

That whole year they were gone... did he miss him, just like Kotetsu had?

"Yeah, me too." His voice was quiet and distant, lost in the moment when he'd fallen from a rooftop only to land in his partner's arms, something he didn't ever think would happen again. "That includes everything, even the chair."

Edited 2012-10-05 20:12 (UTC)

Barnaby's gaze drifted over to Kotetsu, eyes immediately noticing Kotetsu's fingers on his call band, and Barnaby found himself glancing at his own. They normally went off at least once a day. Sometimes twice, sometimes more, but never this long without those little chimes or some mission or public event...

This lifestyle was quieter. Not necessarily calmer, but they were definitely out of the limelight and they didn't always help anyone. The missions were decent enough but this was nothing like Sternbild. It was a lot to miss. And Barnaby had to smile as Kotetsu mentioned missing the same things. There was probably more on Kotetsu's end, but... they could include his chair.

Barnaby bit back a laugh, taking another sip. "Even my chair? Well, don't grow too attached to it; I'm not buying a second."

Kotetsu laughed in return as he relaxed against the back of the couch, his head rested against the top as his eyes drifted upward to the ceiling.

"Oh c'mon, why not? It's not like you don't have the space for it." Craning his neck to the side enough to get a good look at Barnaby, he reached out a hand to swat at his shoulder playfully. "Unless that's your secret plan on keeping me from visiting. Too bad, won't work. I don't need a chair to go over to your place. Gimme a spot on the floor, that's all I need."

For the briefest moment, all the tension in Kotetsu's body left him and for those few, temporary seconds, it really did feel as if they were back home. Joking around, chatting casually, enjoying each other's company. Nothing felt wrong. It was like how things were meant to be.

But the content smile that had been on his lips dropped sightly, and his eyes drifted away from Barnaby back over to the collection of beer on the table, because he remembered that, no, he was wrong. That wasn't how things were at all.

"I probably couldn't count all the things I miss. I've lived a while longer than you so the list's kinda lengthy at this point."

Barnaby chuckled a little, just shaking his head. Kotetsu would visit, whether he had adequate furniture or not. After all, his first night visiting had them both crashed on the hard floor of his living room. Kotetsu could honestly sleep anywhere. But even with this promise of Kotetsu's invasion... Barnaby didn't really mind it anymore.

But as he caught a glance at Kotetsu again, his own smile fell a little. Kotetsu really had lived through a ton more than Barnaby, hadn't he? With that two year difference between them, all of those changes and knowledge that Barnaby didn't yet know, stuff he would find out whenever he returned home, whenever he was allowed to... It was going to be so strange. Barnaby couldn't help but feel a little impressed, seeing Kotetsu handle this as well as he was. From what Kotetsu had implied and the subtle differences in his actions, Barnaby had inferred that either he had gotten used to Kotetsu or the two grew closer than he would have ever expected. And to have all of that set back, but still reacting as though it didn't bother him, was just surprising.

That list... was probably full of things he couldn't know yet. Sighing softly, he turned away. "It must be quite long... Are you just keeping it memorized?"

Finishing up the can he'd been working on, Kotetsu sat up and set it aside before reaching for another one, his movements becoming a little more sluggish yet still surprisingly fluid, like an old routine that required very little actual effort to be put into it.

"About as long as I am old. Not much but, I'm gettin' there." Kotetsu smiled merely out of reflex to show the humor in his words, and when he took a long drink and sat back against the couch, his thoughts began to wander back to all that information he kept gathered up in his head, all those memories of things in his past, thousands of things and places, and people.

"Let's see, stuff from when I was a kid, then growing up, then high school, everything after that. Tomoe, having Kaede, becoming a hero. Everything after that." Though he added no detail, of course it included everything during the appearance of Tomoe's illness and then her passing, as well as the years he spent without her. "Then there's you, and everything after that." Once again, unmentionable details, but there were plenty of them.

His head turned to the side lazily as he raised his beer can to his lips, some oddly secretive smile on his face that faded away in a second. "Things I'll never forget."

All of it was already drifting through his head; sharing hero names with a young and feisty girl, a perfect wedding day, the birth of his only child, a rainy funeral morning, some cocky rookie calling him an old man, reuniting with the best partner in the world. Kotetsu could remember so many things in his life, the good and the bad, and none of it would ever leave his memory.

Barnaby had to laugh at that reaction. And everything after that... Everything that happened, all of his thoughts and memories were precious thoughts to the older hero, cherished for as long as necessary. With everything that he had been through and how many special people he had encountered and held closely, it just made sense for him to hang onto the memory of everything he could, no matter how insignificant. That was just the type of person Kotetsu was.

The only way Barnaby would be able to catch up would be to go home, righting that odd time gap that the two had. That gap separated Barnaby from most of Kotetsu's treasured memories, those thoughts that he couldn't share with him. He knew he needed to go back, even though he was so concerned about leaving Kotetsu here.

"It's better that you don't forget. Memories are such an odd thing."

"Huh, you're tellin' me." Kotetsu hadn't thought about his response until it had slipped out of his mouth, and he seemed to hesitate, almost reconsidering what he'd just said, because he knew very clearly that memories really were complicated matters. Not his own though, but Barnaby's.

His watchful eyes remained on his partner as he thought back to everything that had happened in the few months before their retirement, that mess of a situation they'd gotten into because of Maverick. Altered memories, lies, betrayal. He still couldn't believe that such a person was capable of being such a despicable human being, to think that Maverick could put Barnaby through all those things ever since he was a small child. It was enough to make his skin crawl all over again, to think that all that time, Maverick had just been using Barnaby for his own gain.

Even though all of that was now long over, he still couldn't not think about it, because it was over for him but not for Barnaby.

He had no idea what was waiting for him when he went back home.

To think, all he'd wanted to do was find the murderer of his parents. Barnaby didn't deserve all the pain he'd had to go through. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

"It's not fair..."

It was that odd look that flashed on Kotetsu's face that had Barnaby once again wondering what exactly had happened in those memories that only Kotetsu held. He--and the Judge too, now that Barnaby was thinking about it--knew far more about his own future than he could even imagine. But neither seemed willing to tell Barnaby about what he didn't yet know, and he didn't dare ask anymore. There were only so many times he would willingly sit back and listen to a refusal, after all.

But he knew it would come to him when it needed to. They would just have to wait for whenever the BREW decided to cooperate. Who knew how long that would be, but Barnaby could only hope the war would be done in minutes, or he could just be gone for a few hours at most, just so he could return as quickly as possible without having Kotetsu miss him as much as he was missing Rei.

He had gone back to glancing blankly at the can, but his ears were quick to pick up that mumble from his partner.

"What was that?"

There was a quick flash of a grimace on Kotetsu's face before he reached up to rub at his temples, the back of his head rested against the couch as he slid down in his seat a few inches, almost as if he was trying to hide.

"Nothing." His response was immediate, but he knew that Barnaby wouldn't fall for a simple nothing.

"...it's just, everything that keeps happening when this place is involved. None of it is fair. Rei was most likely better off here but, now she's... gone. You're stuck here when you're really... y'should..."

Even though he couldn't say it, it was a frighteningly clear thought in his head. Barnaby was better off back home, away from this war and these circumstances that had nothing to do with him, especially when he had so many other things to take care of in Sternbild. This was a waste of his time, but Kotetsu couldn't seem to dare think of telling his own partner that he wished for him to leave, even if it was for his own good, even if it was what he deserved. Even if he'd be alone.

Kotetsu was right to know that Barnaby wouldn't accept a simple 'nothing', especially because he knew it was far more than just that. But as he looked at Kotetsu, he knew the older hero would explain it anyway, so he just waited to see if he needed to try prying it out of him or not. But as he continued to explain, Barnaby found himself frowning a little more.

"I know..." He sighed softly. Kotetsu just wished for the same thing--so Barnaby would go home, so they would be back on that same pace that they had been in Kotetsu's time. Barnaby could understand that. Were it the other way around, he didn't think it would have been nearly as easy for him to keep back the information for Kotetsu's sake. But all he could do right now was help him... So he would try.

Granted, the time difference was certainly frustrating at times, but he didn't mind working around it. Especially if it caused Kotetsu less pain. While Barnaby still wanted to figure out what was happening with Ouroboros and find the murderer of his parents, he couldn't say he was completely ungrateful for the fact that he got this little break to learn more about his partner.

He took another sip, setting the can down on the table. "If they send me back, I hope they send you as well, old man."

Bringing his second beer back up for another sip, Kotetsu wondered why they hadn't gotten themselves something a little stronger to help them handle this mess of a situation easier. But then again, they couldn't, because Kaede was not only there but they'd most likely have a hell of a hangover the next morning.

After a long drink, Kotetsu closed his eyes and nodded at Barnaby's words, understanding them clearly but not sure of how to respond, until finally he decided to just voice what he was really thinking of. "...I've got no reason to think that it'd work out that way." No one was probably meant to have an positive expectations when it came to whatever happened in Death City, especially in concerns to who went home and when.

"But..." Kotetsu glanced over at Barnaby once more, the slightest hint of a fond smile on his lips. If only they could return to Sternbild, right back to that night where they had reunited. To think that after a whole year, Barnaby would come back for him, so they could be partners again, and things would be exactly as they had been before. They'd work together, they'd find Ouroboros, and they'd solve that mystery concerning Barnaby's parents. At that moment, even if he knew it would be nothing more than a futile wish, an almost selfish one at that, it was all he could really want.

"I'd like it the most, if we could go back. Together."

If they didn't have Kaede to watch over the next morning, Barnaby would have actually suggested they hit up one of the old bars. Although he didn't like them, sometimes it really seemed like they could use a heavy hitter or two, of the more positive kind. Except the hangover afterward wouldn't be as pleasant, especially with the fairly known idea that she would drag them somewhere the next day.

He could only sigh when Kotetsu replied. Of course things weren't going to work out that way in Death City--things never worked out their way in that city. Sure, they managed to get lucky every once in a while, or the end results would be positive, but there were so many lingering problems, so many moments of confusions and errors and things that just weren't right that they'd probably end up being stuck as they were. No matter what they wanted, it all depended on the BREW.

However, when Kotetsu spoke again, Barnaby had to turn and look at him. Going back, together... That would have been nice. He turned away, a small smile on his face. "Same here. That... would be most desired."

There were so many things Kotetsu wished for them to do, things other than waste their time together sitting idly around and drinking. Responsibilities and tasks that one was meant to do as a hero, catch up on old times, re-associate themselves with old habits and routines. Kotetsu couldn't have been more ready to help Barnaby leap out of retirement the second he had shown up again in Sternbild, but all of that would have to wait for as long as they remained in this new dreary city, bogged down by missions and helping strangers and who knew what else was bound to come their way.

God, he hated waiting, but it was something they'd have to do, just to get the chance of returning home and enjoying themselves the way they were meant to. With his can suddenly empty, Kotetsu sighed heavily and sat up, reaching over to the table to set it down and get another one ready

"How long's it been since we got here anyway? Two, three months?" Kotetsu squinted down at his beer can a little as he tried to think back on the amount of time they had spent in Death City already, unable to come up with a concrete number.

That wait was probably going to drive them insane if they didn't have the distractions around them. There was no use getting worked up over the fact that they couldn't leave, but without their hero work, they seemed to be losing their patience anyway. At least they had the Watch, something to distract them.

Leaning back, Barnaby turned the can around in his hands. "How long we've been here? Well, with today being the twenty-fifth... Approximately two months, two weeks." It had really been a while. Although that wasn't long compared to the amount of time some people had spent in Death City, it was still quite a long time for being away from home for the two of them, far longer than Barnaby would have ever guessed. Finishing off his can, he took a deep breath and just held it as he turned back to Kotetsu.

"I wonder how long we'll be here now. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if it was years."

Granted it was nice to not have a boss breathing down your neck nearly 24/7, or sponsors to constantly please, or damage fines looming over your head, or just any of those unnecessary hassles that they (well, more-so Kotetsu than Barnaby) had to deal with back home, but no matter what sort of 'perks' Death City had, it wouldn't ever compare to or even replace what their own city had to offer.

Home was home, and this place just wasn't ever going to be home. As Kotetsu opened the tab of beer, he let out a quiet huff as Barnaby happened to reliably tell him the exact amount of time they'd been in the city (and was actually surprised he didn't have it down to hours, minutes, and even seconds). "Hard to say if it feels less or longer, but I guess any time away from home that's longer than a day is too much for us."

Grabbing another can from the case, Kotetsu simply opened it and pushed it aside to Barnaby's side of the table, prepared to lay back against the couch and relish in the approaching buzz of the alcohol to help settle his uneasiness, until Barnaby spoke up again, and somehow he couldn't stop himself from shooting a sharp, almost pointed look at Barnaby, almost of annoyance.

"Don't say that." He grumbled, though as he reached out to smack at Barnaby's knee, it was obvious that Kotetsu wasn't so much as angry about Barnaby's little quip as he was just exasperated by it. "We're goin' back home, got it? Sooner or later, and damn it, it's gonna be sooner. Just... not sure how much sooner."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Closed] say hello then say farewell

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject