soul_logs | [OPEN] * Field trip aftermath.

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[OPEN] * Field trip aftermath.

Characters: OPEN
Location: The Clinic
Rating: Not exactly sure...PG minimum?
Time: February 28; Anytime during the day.
Description: Sheena's recovering from her Madness-induced nightmare--both physically and emotionally. Anyone care to visit?

She was supposed to be recovering, but the nightmares and dreams brought on by the Madness wouldn't let her. She had been initially helped at the field trip site, but that hadn't lasted long--thanks to her own deep-seated fears over her memories. Not even the sedatives given her had been able to keep everything at bay. She had woken up several times during the night, frantically searching the room for any trace of those eyes that seemed to be wherever she looked. Eventually, the drugs and exhaustion had taken their toll, and she had fallen into a somewhat restless sleep.

This time, when she awoke, sunlight was streaming into the room, keeping the images away. Now, in the clear light of day, she was able to deal with what happened, and wondered if she was going to be able to handle things here.

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Gai nodded. He didn't know what she was seeking right now, absolution or understanding, and so there was very little to go on to know how to respond. "That is not... unheard of, with ninja. And sometimes it is unavoidable, even necessary. Though it is always sad." His voice was calm and neutral. Without facts there was no way he could say anything on this topic yet, really, that wasn't general.

Sheena definitely wasn't seeking absolution, but if he wanted to know her nightmares, then he'd have to know the events leading up to them.

She shook her head. "That's the problem. It could have been avoided. If only I had known..." She stopped herself and took a step back to collect her thoughts. "My grandpa had discovered that I could make pacts with Summon Spirits, so he took me--and many others--to one of the temples. But, when we got there, I couldn't understand what Volt was saying, and he began attacking everyone. I and a few others survived, but so many were dead, and my Grandpa was in a coma for many years. And it was my fault." She turned to look towards the window.

"I relived that as a nightmare for a long time."

"If you had known what?" He didn't know who Volt was, or what Summon Spirits were, but he knew he needed to simply be patient and listen, and ask questions that could help as opposed to ones that would add too many details or confuse. The Spirit thing at least he could ask about later, too. Abilities in worlds were interesting topics.

"It is certainly something that would stay with you and you would relive." It would be traumatizing to anyone to see many die while they survived, let alone to see a relative harmed.

She looked up. Oh, she really hadn't been clear, had she? Not to mention skipping some very important information. "Let's see. Summon Spirits represent the elements of my world--like Fire, Ice, and Lightning. Except for two; they represent other forces of nature. Volt is the Spirit of Lightning, and I couldn't understand him--since I didn't know his language." That was what she hadn't known. However... "In spite of that, I should have heard something--a tone--that gave me a clue to his anger, but I didn't, and all those people died."

She looked up at him. "It didn't help that I went back twelve years later to try again. I relieved the whole thing then, too."

"You did not understand him the second time, you are saying? Or the memories flashed back?" He still didn't quite get it, but he was there to help and not to get fully informed on her life. What she wanted to talk about, he would listen to, but he didn't need to go probing. "We can summon as well, but we do not have to learn a language. They speak the same one we do."

"Both, actually. If it weren't for my friend Raine who knew the ancient language he was speaking, I wouldn't have known why he was so angry at us. He was lied to by the last pact-maker, and wanted nothing to do with anyone. And once again, he attacked." She looked away for a moment.

"Everything was the same as before. He went after my friends first, then me. Only this time, instead of my Grandpa getting in the way and falling into a coma. My best friend blocked a hit." She turned back.

"And didn't make it."

"I am sorry." His voice was gentle. The loss of a friend was devastating, and there were no words for it. But he had to express empathy somehow. Gai set a hand on the edge of her bed, near where her hand was. If she wanted to take it, it was there. If she didn't he wouldn't mind at all.

"You saw that again, then? During the madness?"

She shook her head, and although she was aware and thankful for the gesture of his hand near hers--she didn't take it. Not that she didn't want to, but it usually wasn't her way.

"Not exactly. After the first attempt, I was shunned and made to feel unworthy to live. In the madness," she took a deep breath, "my friend agreed..."

Gai didn't take it as rejection, and after a few minutes pulled his hand back. It was fine.

He nodded, seeing why that would hurt so much. "And so that felt like betrayal and that the others were right, even though they were not. It was none of it your fault, though I am certain you already know that." If she was anything but a ninja he might have simply consoled. As it was, she was intelligent and shouldn't be treated like someone unfamiliar with fighting and burdens. Gai wouldn't patronize her.

Even if he thought it was fine, she still felt bad for not taking it--since all he was trying to do was help.

Damn her stubbornness.

She nodded in return. In a small voice, she said, "He told me I shouldn't be alive. And I guess that's when I did this." She held up her bandaged wrist. "I really don't remember anything that I did." The last thing she remembered since going into the field was Spirit bringing her here.

She was going to have to thank him.

"That is likely a mercy. No one would want to remember that." His gaze flickered to her wrists and then away. Suicide was a touchy topic for him. He knew how much one in particular had hurt someone he cared about. "And so you... you do not want to still do that, I hope?" Gai wasn't sure how to help her if she was still suicidal, but he wound find a way. He was determined.

Part of her agreed with him; but another part wanted to know. She had to find out if she had hurt anyone. She had no idea what to do if she had, however.

She looked up at him and this time, her hand reached out to touch his arm. "No, Gai," she said softly. "I don't feel like doing that anymore." There were slight twinges every now and then, but they were getting weaker and weaker as the day wore on. But, if things did sour, she'd trust him to stop her without being asked and by using any means possible.

Gai put a hand over hers where it touched him, nodding, glad to hear that. "You should remember that there are people who care about you, and people who would not want to see you gone. And if you ever need to be reminded of it, you need only contact me. I will be there, and I will help." Gai gave her hand a squeeze before releasing it. "I will be there for you, Sheena."

He wouldn't lose a friend to that. BREW might take everyone away, but they'd not take themselves.

She looked at him fondly--nothing more than a friend. "Where were you when I was growing up, Gai?" she asked softly. Maybe if there were more people like him on her side as a kid, her nightmares wouldn't have been so bad.

Nor would have her experience in the Madness.

"And be warned. I plan on taking you up on her offer." The only way she'd leave was by either BREW or by battle--not by her own hand. Not if she could help it.

"Konoha, my village," he answered. It was a strange question, he thought, but he was here to help, and if answering strange questions brought comfort he would do it. "That is short for Konohagakure, Village Hidden In The Leaves."

He smiled and nodded again. "That is why I made it, so that it can be taken up on. I will never be disappointed or bothered when someone leans on me. I enjoy supporting." Relaxing, Gai looked her over. She looked, if he could say so, a little better, maybe. Maybe he'd helped some. That was a good thought. "What was the name of the place you grew up in?" He'd given hers, maybe she wanted to talk about that.

She should have known he'd take the question literally, but that was one of the things she liked about him. He could see things much clearer than she could at times. She gave his arm a fond squeeze. "It's not easy for me to ask anyone for help, though, Gai, so if I do... Then you know it's pretty important." She's really not the damsel in distress type, so she'd have to be in pretty dire straits to go to him. But, she promised him she would, and she will.

She leaned back a little. He was right, she was feeling better. He was such a calming force for her to hold on to. "My village? It's known as Mizuho, the Mystical Village."

"I do not think many people find it easy to ask for help, or not the ones that need it. So I understand." He smiled at the squeeze, knowing that it was a good sign. "And I will know that you need it when you ask, so I can respond quickly. I will be there for you."

Gai tilted his head. "The Mystical Village? What is mystical about it?"

"Thanks, Gai." Sheena was definitely one of those who couldn't ask for help. Seriously, she'd have to be practically unconscious before accepting it--and even then whether or not she would was still questionable.

"To be honest, I think they call it that because it's hidden from the rest of the world. We also worship our own gods and keep with our own traditions. So, we're kind of a mysterious group to everyone else."

"You are welcome." He'd just have to pay attention if he thought she might need something. She still might not ask.

Gai nodded, raising an eyebrow. "Few in my world worship anything. And most that do worship a god that feeds on blood, so I do not know much about that. But our village is hidden! Because it is a ninja village. Why is yours hidden?"

That was a good habit to get into around her because he was right.

Sheena looked at him for a moment. Hadn't she told him that she was a ninja? Looking back over their talks, she realized she hadn't specifically said that; she had mentioned training and learning from her grandpa, but she never said what.

Looking a little sheepish, she chuckled softly. "Ummm... Actually, Mizuho is a village of ninjas, too. I...I honestly thought I had told you that."

"Oh!" He'd known she'd been some sort of fighter, and she worked with stealth, but he hadn't really come across many who called themselves ninja as well. "It is good to know that there are more ninja here! That makes those of my world, Tifa, and you! We are a small group, but most ninja groups are small."

Gai leaned back in his chair, tilting his head. "So there are other ninja villages in your world too, or is yours the only one?"

Her sheepish smile deepened into an embarrassed one. "I'm sorry, Gai, I really thought I had told you." She nodded slowly. "Roy had mentioned there were other ninja here, but I thought he meant you and Kakashi.

I didn't know there were others here."

She looked down at her hands again. "No, we're the only village. We originally secluded ourselves to get away from the rest of the world and its beliefs." She looked up. "At least, that's what I was always taught."

"It is nothing to apologize for." Gai's smile was warm and understanding. "It is nice to know but it is not as if I needed to know. And all of my students are ninja, as are Kakashi's. And there are also Hinata, Hanabi, and Obito. They are ninja as well, but not our students."

Gai nodded. "You think it is different than what you were taught, then? Or you are just thinking about it?"

"Hinata? Oh, I met her! She's pretty nice." A little shy, but nice. She had almost forgotten about the quiet girl. From their conversation, she knew she was a fighter, but like Gai about her, she hadn't pieced together that she was a ninja. "She gave me some good advice about finding a partner."

"I'm not sure, really. See, the rest of my people followed a certain tradition for centuries, thinking the story behind it was true." She looked at him with a serious expression. "It makes me wonder if Mizuho broke away because of the reasons given--or because the people knew the truth."

"She is very nice. She has been through a lot, and she has been shaped by it, but in a good way. And that is good! Partners are very important. Especially when the madness hits. Though... Though you will have to work on trusting them. The first time we dealt with madness Kakashi and myself wound up fighting more. This time I managed to help him out." Gai shrugged. "It is a matter of learning how to work with someone, and then work even better with someone."

Gai's eyes narrowed. "What was the truth?"

[OPEN] * Field trip aftermath.

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