soul_logs | [OPEN] * Field trip aftermath.

Characters: OPEN
Location: The Clinic
Rating: Not exactly sure...PG minimum?
Time: February 28; Anytime during the day.
Description: Sheena's recovering from her Madness-induced nightmare--both physically and emotionally. Anyone care to visit?

She was supposed to be recovering, but the nightmares and dreams brought on by the Madness wouldn't let her. She had been initially helped at the field trip site, but that hadn't lasted long--thanks to her own deep-seated fears over her memories. Not even the sedatives given her had been able to keep everything at bay. She had woken up several times during the night, frantically searching the room for any trace of those eyes that seemed to be wherever she looked. Eventually, the drugs and exhaustion had taken their toll, and she had fallen into a somewhat restless sleep.

This time, when she awoke, sunlight was streaming into the room, keeping the images away. Now, in the clear light of day, she was able to deal with what happened, and wondered if she was going to be able to handle things here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Maybe you can have the clinic workers call for you? People get hurt here all the time, so I'd think it's almost expected that you'll have to take a few days off for things like this."

"I suppose I could," she admitted. "But you know something, the bartender did give me a strange look when I told her I was just asking for the day off. She might have handled it for me already." She decided to contact them later about it--unless there was already a message about it. She kept forgetting the communicator had that function.

Bakura covered a small laugh. "Sort of expecting you'd need to take more than one day, huh?" he smiled. "I guess it's best to assume that with this sort of thing. That way if you only do need the one, it's a pleasant surprise, ne?"

"Yeah, I guess. And go ahead and laugh. I should have asked her then about it." She sighed and shifted into a more comfortable position, wincing a bit at the light pressure she put on her arm. She glanced down and watched it, but no blood could be seen. Good, she didn't re-open the wound.

That would just be her typical luck.

"I doubt I'll need just the one day," she told him. Her job relied on her fighting abilities, and they were a bit diminished at the moment. "I'll probably need several." She leaned back. "Do you think they'll let me take that much time off?"

"I'm sure they will. After all, something like this, I really do think places expect it," Bakura pointed out, following her eyes to her arm before looking back, not wanting to draw more attention to it. He was a touch curious, but not about to pry. Injuries were personal things, after all.

"I'm not entirely sure that's a good thing," she told him with a chuckle. She followed his gaze with her own, and her eyes met his when he looked back up. Personal or not, he was her friend, and she wanted to tell him, but was too ashamed to. Once she was coherent enough, she had been told what she had done, but...

"I don't remember how I got hurt..."

That was a far too familiar statement for Bakura not to look utterly sympathetic. Though he did hope the reason behind hers was not an evil spirit possession... but that was less likely here, right? What was more likely...

"A mission? Or the trip yesterday...?"

"It was the trip," she said, her eyes dropping down to her lap. "They told me what happened and what I did," she said, lifting her wrist. "But I don't remember doing it." She began picking at the fabric.

"I remember bits and pieces of it--nightmares I had as a kid mixing with the ones I have now."

"Best to not think of it too much... What people do when they're under the influence of the Madness...." he trailed off a moment. "You aren't yourself then."

"That's what they told me," she replied. "It still doesn't make it any easier, you know." She looked up and contemplated telling him what she had learned. After a moment, she looked away again and said quietly, "They told me I bit myself."

Bakura couldn't help but give a faint smile at that. "Better than biting someone else, at least?" he offered, thinking of the healed over bit mark on his arm. "Hopefully no where bad?"

Sheena shook her head silently. "In this case, both yes and no. It's a good thing I didn't go after anyone else, but--" she trailed off as she brought her bandaged wrist into view.

"It was pretty bad," she told him with obvious emphasis.

Bakura's expression turned very sympathetic. "It should heal, though, right?"

"That's what they told me," she replied sullenly. She had thought her life was worthless once before, but this was the first time she had taken things into her own hands--so to speak. All the other times, she had merely risked her life to help others without caring about her own.

Yeah, the wound on her wrist might heal, but the emotional one might not.

Bakura reached out to put a light hand over her wrist, the faded puncture scar on the back visible. "It'll be all right. It can just be a reminder of how powerful the Madness is. Something to help you focus, maybe...?"

She looked up at him, surprised, then to her wrist, registering his own scar, but not focusing on it for now. She hadn't thought of it that way. How many times had she used a scar as a reminder not to let things happen again? But could she do it with this? Get past the renewed nightmares...again?

"I guess, Bakura. I did it before. I just don't know if I can again."

"If there's anything I can do to help..."

The last time she had faced a fear, others were there for her, encouraging her. Did she want to be haunted by this shadow forever? She really didn't, and she hated asking for help, but he offered....

Sadly, she was going to have to decline the offer. She sighed and looked at him. "I appreciate it, Bakura, but I think I might have to do this alone." Which was how she got into this mess to begin with, but she doesn't want to hurt anyone else.

He wanted to protest that she didn't have to. If he were Yuugi... Yuugi would have known the magic words to make everything better, to encourage and inspire...

But he wasn't Yuugi. And he himself knew that sometimes you had to carry something on your own. The scar on his hand was proof enough of that. But there was still a part of himself that irrationally protested that just because he had to didn't mean others had to as well.

"If you're sure.... But if you ever do need anything, don't hesitate to ask, okay?" he offered, tone soft. "Even for things you have to do alone... as long as you have friends supporting you, you aren't truly alone, right?"

She looked at their hands for a long moment. No, she wasn't sure. There had been a time when she wasn't sure about anything, but her confidence had grown steadily over the past few months. There were times, however, that her confidence faltered and she would second-guess her decisions. This was one of those times.

She had no problems offering her help to others, but when it came to accepting it, she couldn't. Maybe she should rethink that position--especially now. Placing her other hand over his, she nodded slowly before turning to him.

"Thanks, Bakura," she said, her voice equally as soft. "I promise I'll try to do that." She could only nod at the rest because, in reality, she believed that deep in her heart--which is where a lot of her strength came from.

[OPEN] * Field trip aftermath.

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