[closed, backdated]

[cardfortress]

Characters: Near and Mello
Location: Orinoco River, Venezuela
Rating: PG-13
Time: June 15th (backdated)
Description: Mission 197: Orinoco River, Venezuela. Children are going missing, and no bodies are turning up, stumping authorities. Playmates of the missing children say that they swam with the friendly river dolphins, but then they dive under and never come back up...





I hate water.

[Redundant comment is redundant, but Near still finds it relevant to point that out as they finally reach the margins of the Orinoco River. If he were being completely accurate, he'd specify that he hates bodies of water bigger than a large bath tub, but Mello knows that very well.

"Friendly river dolphins" isn't terribly specific as far as kishin eggs go but it gives them a good idea of what they're up against, if the behavior of those monsters is anything like that of their animal counterparts. Hopefully, their appearance will be quite distinct from normal Amazon river dolphins: Near would prefer it if the local authorities didn't get in their way after their mission for the accidental slaughter of a supposedly endangered species.

Near would also prefer it if they could use his abilities without having to get any closer to the water than what they are now. In any case, it's good to know that Mello's a pretty good swimmer, and that Near won't have to worry about swimming or even breathing while in his Weapon form, but neither of these things is reassuring given that water is the kishin egg’s element, not their own.

Before one of those creatures decides to surprise them while Near is still in his human body, he gets closer to Mello and turns into his Weapon form, focusing immediately on their surroundings and on trying to pick up any signs of madness wavelength or kishin egg activity.]

Ready?

Comments

[want_the_world]

I do not; it's not even going to leave a scar.

[Mello has as much faith in Near's abilities in that area as he does in those of Death City's doctors, and he'd much rather be here than at the Horrorspital or clinic.

He watches Near apply the butterfly stitches will all the care he normally devotes to balancing Tarot cards in insanely high and fragile structures, if not more. Mello doesn't think his partner feels exactly the same sense of duty he does--it's something greater, really, which he usually puts into words to himself as I take care of my people--but he knows Near would claim, and might even believe, that making sure he's mentally and physically well isn't just part of what they should do for each other as partners, but only sensible as far as self-preservation goes, too.

It's been difficult for Mello to think of it in those terms since Near's last stay at the clinic; days spent sitting by his partner's bedside gave him plenty of time to realize that it's not how vulnerable he'd be that makes the thought of losing Near unbearable.

He's been expecting the question, but hasn't formulated a satisfactory answer, not with how busy they've been and how reluctant Mello is to delve too deeply into his own motivations. He veered too close to that line of thought for comfort the day he gave Near the piano.

Weirdly, Near seems to hesitate before asking, enough that if he hadn't said anything, Mello would have asked what was bothering him. As if he knows this conversation could easily take them down a path neither of them has been eager to explore. Mello tries for a casual tone when he gives his answer, but the same solemnity that colored Near's voice sneaks into his own.]

I wanted to.

[cardfortress]

I disagree, but you know that by now.

[It really is pointless to keep that subject going, but Near hates not having the last word, even more so when he’s still completely certain that they should have gone to the clinic, no matter how competent he may be at first aid (which he is).

Months ago, he would have justified his protective behavior on self-preservation-- partners need to protect each other in and out of battle if they want to stay alive, after all-- but it’s a lot more than that now, and has been since Near saw Mello unconscious on the Death City ground, looking very far from alive after falling from the floating island. He genuinely cares and worries about his Meister, much like he would care and worry about himself, and seeing Mello injured feels just as bad as if he were the one injured, instead.

Mello’s answer is exactly what Near thought it would be, and he would have felt a flicker of amusement at his predictability if the subject weren’t so serious. Near hopes that this conversation won’t take them down that road, but he knows that hoping for anything at all is futile: it creates a false sense of security, and he can’t let his guard down, not right now.]

You didn’t expect any retribution, and you didn’t want anything out of it, [He begins, as if needing to explain the reason behind his question, even though he knows Mello’s quite capable of figuring that out on his own.] Why?

[Don’t make this any more complicated than it has to be, he said to Mello once, what feels like so long ago instead of the one month and one week it actually was. Is he risking doing the same? Should he let this subject rest instead of digging too deep? But that is not in his nature, and he sensed how Mello was hiding something, something important, after Near finished playing the piece he composed.

But that’s not the only thing he noticed: he remembers how he caught Mello grinning out of the corner of his eye before his Meister asked him to play, and how he wondered why he was grinning like that. But is that even relevant at all, or is Near taking unnecessary things into consideration while trying to make sense of everything?]

[want_the_world]

[Mello will let Near have the last word this time; what's important is that he didn't try to insist on the clinic.

He knew when he gave his answer that it wouldn't satisfy Near, knows it isn't the whole story, and has since he turned himself away from that train of thought the other day. He's still reluctant to delve into it too deeply.

Part of why he bought the piano is for the intimacy of knowing he's the only one allowed to listen to Near playing, the vaguely illicit thrill of seeing a side of him no one else has ever seen. Part of it is that playing relaxes Near, and Mello reaps the benefits of that.

Neither of those is the whole reason.

What's wrong with wanting to plan something as hard to execute perfectly as this was, and to be pleased at pulling it off so damn well? Near's expression when he pulled the blindfold off and saw the piano for the first time made it worth all the trouble. No one else has succeeded at stunning him into speechlessness, either.

Mello knows the deeper reason, whatever it is, unexamined even to himself, is what Near's after. He's not sure he has an answer for him. Not one he can give. If he admitted the gift was partly expression of an affection he hadn't even known he was capable of feeling, Near would be both skeptical and horrified. Mello's far from immune to uneasiness about the implications himself.

He has to tread carefully.]

I wanted to. I wanted to do something for you that no one else could.

[It's imperfectly phrased, but at least it isn't as damning as some of the things he could have said.]

[cardfortress]

[Near finishes applying the butterfly stitches as Mello speaks, and then starts to bandage his arm, doing so just as carefully as he’s been tending to his wounds so far. He doesn’t look at his partner, gauging out his reactions from their resonance and what he can see through his peripheral vision instead, but he would have been able to tell he’s hiding something even without their bond; the real reason behind Mello’s actions can’t be just that.

He can pick up on a feeling of unease, too, making him feel quite sure that whatever Mello is hiding right now is important and shouldn’t be dismissed or hidden as strongly as his Meister is trying to do. Their resonance tells him that Mello is hiding something as deeply as he did when he gave him the piano, too, and knowing this only makes him more determined to figure everything out, because if his Meister is going to such great lengths to hide it, then that only means that Near absolutely must know what’s going on.

(After all, it would be better for his Meister to just tell him what the hell is going on rather than let Near’s mind wander off to places it definitely shouldn’t be going to, because going down that path is ridiculous and simply not possible… right?)

It would be funny, if it weren’t so serious, how Mello has done a lot of things for him that no one else could have done, in plenty of different ways. No one else has ever challenged him like he does, in their world and in this one, and no one else would have ever gotten this close; no one else would have made him feel in the first place, either. No one but Mello would have been allowed inside his walls.

Mello’s answer doesn’t satisfy him at all, and it’s far too simple of an answer for something so inherently complicated. It’s not in their nature to just do nice things for each other without expecting anything in return, no matter how small or big that gesture may be.]

If your answer is as truthful as you want me to believe, [He speaks in that same tone of voice, but tries not to sound even more serious than he did before, and finishes bandaging Mello’s arm before he continues.] Then what are you hiding from me? You were hiding something after I played for you, and you’re doing it again. What is it?

[want_the_world]

[Mello watches Near from under his fringe, as he's been doing. This is definitely detouring into dangerous territory, but he doesn't know how to guide them back to safer topics.

It sure as hell doesn't help that this one is as irresistible as it is unsettling, that Mello can't help but poke at it, pushing at his own comfort zone the way he's accustomed to push at Near's. His own mind isn't supposed to be such a damn mystery to him.

Near doesn't meet his eyes, and it's clear he knows this is important even before he speaks, or he wouldn't be pushing, either.

I feel too much, and it scares me, he could say. I'm afraid it'll take me down a path you can't follow, and more than that: that it'll fuck up one of the only things I've ever cared about having, about keeping.

Mello moves his arm experimentally, though he doesn't need to in order to test that the bandages allow him freedom of movement, or that they're secure.

As soon as he realizes he's stalling, he makes himself stop, and he's unwontedly hesitant when he tries to answer. He doesn't have to tell the truth here by any of their rules, but he's too proud to lie, even if it means admitting he's not certain of his reasons himself.]

I don't know. I... I'm not good at this, either. It was a gesture I couldn't resist once I thought of it.

You're different when you play. I wanted to see more of it. To... be the person who gave you that.