soul_logs | [ closed ] this is an alarm call

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[ closed ] this is an alarm call

Characters: Ange Ushiromiya and Yuri Lowell.
Location: Apartment 2-A of the Creeping Crypt - aka their apartment.
Rating: Most likely PG.
Time: The night from March 21st to March 22nd, in the middle of the night.
Description: Ange has a nightmare.

[ Somehow Ange had lucked out so far. Despite her usual tendency to have nightmares of the things that passed back home - mainly her family's death - she had fairly normal dreams in this place so far. Or at least, since she didn't remember anything about them by the time she woke up, she figured they had to be just ordinary dreams, the kind of dreams that anyone had and didn't even really matter. Not the kind of nightmare that would wake her up in the middle of the night. Which was also rather fortunate since she had to sleep right near that guy every night, and if she did that much he might wake up too, right? And that would just be.. an awkward situation all around.

But this night was where Ange's luck ended. The girl pretty much already recognized the dream the moment it started, if not just because she had it so many times before back home in those long twelve years. The dream where her family left once again for that island, and she couldn't go along - she could only watch them die in the dream. No matter how much she tried to stretch out her hand to them to try and grab them, stop them, or even go with them, no matter whether that would mean her death not-- no matter which of those things she did, the outcome was always the same. They crumbled away in front of her eyes until they were little more like dust in the wind.

Dad, mom.. Battler onii-chan! Everyone..! W-wait for me! Don't go without me! Don't leave me all alone--

With a sharp movement the girl suddenly awoke from her nightmare, immediately sitting up in the bed and even - despite her usual calm front - letting out a squeak out of mere instinct. ]

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[ He stared up to the dark sky above him. Though otherwise a normally clear, star-light night sky, it was polluted. Massive waves of what appeared to be energy traveled their way over the sky, almost looking like gigantic tentacles engulfing the planet. The wind blew softly, his gaze lazily staring towards the brightest star he could find. Muddled, but still shining. He wasn't going to lose to this. He could feel a like hand on his shoulder, the sound of armor clanking filling his ears, and the smell of a pipe smoking filling the air around him. At that touch, he blinked.

And he opened his eyes...Right. He wasn't in his world right now. That was...just a dream. It was almost as though the sudden movement of that hand on his shoulder had been the thing to wake him up. He rolled over, moving to close his eyes, but...the form of the girl next to him, sitting straight up in bed, gave away the true reason he was awake. It seemed like she had jolted up, and...it woke him up too. ]

...Ange? [ He said, in a sleepy voice, still not moving from his laying position. ] You alright?

[ Man, he almost forgot he shared a bed with someone too. ]

[ It took a few moments for the idea of the nightmare to settle and for the girl to realise she was just still in that other world, that she was just sitting up in bed - it really just had been a dream. But even so it still took her breath a bit to catch up with her too because of the shock and the jolt right after it.

But then Yuri's voice was there already, as if it was trying to call her further back to reality. But at the same time it was a little.. difficult, since she didn't exactly want him to see her like this, so she didn't turn her head towards him. Instead she just kept sitting up so he'd mostly see her back and side. ]

.. yeah. [ Even the answer came slowly, making it completely unconvincing. ] I'm.. okay.

You sure don't sound like it. [ He continued to lay on his side, not looking away from her, even if they weren't making eye contact. She looked...agitated. But it was night, and they were sleeping, so that could only mean... ]

Bad dream, huh?

[ The only answer in response to the first half he got was just a slightly annoyed huff - sure, she didn't needed that to be pointed out to her, she was just trying to pretend she was fine.. but he saw through it either way, huh? No use pretending when she had a dream that bad again. ]

That's right, I had a nightmare. [ Her voice was a little lower and more strained than usually. ]

.. That's all. No big deal.

[ Her hands clenched the blanket so tightly her knuckles almost turned white. ]

[ He was about to shrug, and turn back over to sleep. If she said it was no big deal, then it was no big deal. He trusted her enough on that. But...he was allowed to worry about his partner, wasn't he? He remained silent before, sitting up as well, on the opposite edge from her, his back towards her. 2:18 AM...well, he wasn't exactly busy in the morning. He could always sleep in. ]

It can help to talk about those, you know.

What is this, some sort of therapy?

[ Her tone was slightly deadpan, but it didn't match up to her usual level of it. It was more like a weak attempt at it. Honestly, she didn't mind talking about it all that much, but.. if she'd talk to him, it would feel like exposing her weaker side to him, and she wasn't sure if she wanted that. She had trained so hard just to try and seem strong to him, but.. ngh. ] You'd probably just find it silly, either way.

Try me. [ He said, with a small, small smile. Everyone felt like their worries and fears were silly...to themselves. ] I'm not going to laugh, you know. We all have nightmares. I'll hear you out.

[ .. Well, at least this way she didn't have to face him while telling it. Then maybe it'd be okay, right? If she just tried telling it as if it wasn't a big deal, just some casual fact, maybe he wouldn't even notice then how much it bothered her and she still got to vent. Sounded like a plan to her. ]

It was just a dream about my past. [ Ange swallowed thickly, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible. ] I never told you much, so it probably wouldn't make much sense. But.. to summarize it, my entire family died in an incident when I was only six years old. I sometimes still have dreams about it, even though I never actually saw what happened to them. And.. in those dreams, I try to stop them from dying, but I can never save them. No matter how much I stretch out my hand, I can never reach them. It's always.. useless.

[ ...Wow...He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what the pain of losing a whole family at once like that was but...

There was no sort of joking tone, or smile, in his voice anymore. ]

Sorry. I had no idea. [ A brief silence, before... ] So you're an orphan too, huh. [ It wasn't a question. More like just a statement. Maybe he didn't know what it was like to lose a family but...the desire to save to someone, even though he couldn't. He knew that pain. ]

[ .. An apology? It wasn't like he had anything to apologize for, right? She had told out of her own free will, more or less. Although she did notice that 'too'.. seriously? This guy was an orphan too, and.. even so, he was always this carefree and generally cheerful? ]

Twelve years and counting by now. [ She tried to say it calmly, and she did succeed in that, but it was a little soft and almost wry. ] Although if you're saying 'too', I hardly have to explain anything about it to you. You understand. [ what it feels like. ]

[ He replied back, with a small nod even though she couldn't see. ] My mom died before I could remember her face. Same with my dad. I didn't lose them. I never had them. But...it's hard either way, isn't it? [ He looked out the window. A clear night sky, just like in his dream. ]

...Guess we do have something in common as partners after all.

... Yeah, people who lost their parents teaming up. Great, it's almost like some screwed up form of group therapy. [ At least at this point she could try to deadpan her way back to her usual self, although it was just a little - it didn't do too much. ]

Putting all the orphans together so they can talk about their problems or something like that.

Hah. It does seem like that. Life's pretty weird, huh? [ It was a dry sort of laugh. He still didn't turn to face her. ]

...There's no point in beating yourself over it, you know. They wouldn't want you to. [ Right, Captain? ]

"Save who you can." That's why we're here now.

[ .. It was difficult. She didn't entirely want to admit it, or rather.. she wasn't sure if she should tell him, it wasn't even like they already knew each other very well. Even if they slept like this, when it came down to it, they weren't that different from strangers still, right? Yet.. maybe he would understand, exactly because he didn't know her story as much as everyone did back home thanks to the media. ]

I.. shouldn't have been saved, though.

[ Her voice was definitely soft now, and her tone not deadpan at all - she even glanced down just in case he'd turn to stare at her, she didn't want to face him directly like this. ]

[ Don't think that. They'd say. You're here now, so don't think that. Isn't that anyone's first reaction, when those words are spoken? He almost wanted to say that himself, but what consolation would that be? He continued to stare out the window. She shouldn't have been saved, huh...? ]

...Don't beat up yourself over it. Your family would be hurt, if they knew you were. [ He stopped for a brief moment. ]

We're all powerless sometimes. [ His voice sounded lower. ] It's not always our fault, you know.

[ Saying the next part is a little too much. Since it was not just that she just didn't think she deserved to be saved, but it was that she didn't want to have been saved, she would have preferred to just die with her family rather than having endured everything she did, but saying that to him would be too much at this point. Instead she idly drew circles on the covers with a finger as she still stared down. ]

So even the mighty Yuri Lowell can feel powerless? [ The wording was like it was a joke, but that was just to pretend everything was just like usually, even if it wasn't at the moment. Her tone was completely not joke-like either way. ]

[ That just got an honest laugh out of him. No malice, no sarcasm. It really...made him laugh. It was funny, that she thought that. ] You say that like I'm some sort of super hero. I'm human too, you know.

[ He finally spared a look back to her, even though her back was only visible. ] I've had my moments too, where I couldn't do anything. The most we can do is fight back, and try not to. But when we do run into those times... [ His voice trailed off, as his gaze went down and over to the night stand, traveling to the bohdi blastia laying there. He gave it a hard stare, almost a look of longing, before looking back. ]

We shouldn't blame ourselves. It just happens.

Edited (yes I editted this again just for the subject line) 2012-09-12 14:14 (UTC)

[ She didn't turn to him. From the moving sounds she could figure he would at least be looking at her by now, but she still isn't turn around to face him. Ange didn't want to at this point - or maybe it was just that she couldn't, it was so much easier to talk about all this as if she was just talking to herself. ]

Since you'll keep insisting on this point otherwise, I guess I should say that the blaming deal isn't the biggest problem at all. I just.. wanted them to be saved. It didn't matter who would've done it, me or someone else. [ She just had wanted them to be around, to stop the loneliness that had been pounding her every single moment since she was just a little kid. ]

But that's only natural, right? Wouldn't most people want to be with their family?

[ ...If he had been there, could he have saved them for her? No...when she was six, he was only nine. He couldn't even entertain the thought. He didn't reply to her first comment at all, simply waiting for her to finish. ]

Yeah. Of course. That's normal. [ Again, he didn't know that feeling. He'd always been alone. Sure, Hanks helped take care of him. So did Flynn's mom. But...he never had his real family. He didn't really know personally. But, that's family was there for. ] It is natural.

...You know, whenever these kinds of thoughts get to you, you can tell me. Even if it's the middle of the night, like now. [ There wasn't anything he could do but hear her out, after all. ]

[ .. Of course it's natural.. He just agreed with that, right? He didn't find what she said weird, right? Being open like this with someone about these issues wasn't something she ever had the opportunity to do before, she had always just bottled it up, so it was.. definitely strange. She had no idea what he'd even think about all of it.

His last statement snapped her out of her thoughts about it though, and despite the fact she didn't really want to face him her reflexes were faster than her brain and she half-turned towards him, a frown on her face that wasn't really annoyed for once, but maybe more.. worried? Emotional? Just slightly though. ]

What are you saying something like that for? We're.. just partners, right? That doesn't mean you have to listen to every single one of my thoughts or worried, you know.

[ She was right. He didn't. They were just partners. They were only going to help each other out until the witches were defeated. But...they weren't just partners, to him. He'd just spent the past month or so with her. Even if she pouted, or snarked back, or even kicked him, he didn't dislike it. It was fun. ]

Yeah. We are partners. That's why I want to listen to every single one of your thoughts and worries. I'm here to help you. [ She turned to face him, and his eyes made her. He just gave her a soft smile. He meant ever word he said. ] I'm not just a talking sword, you know.

[ .. What.. was she supposed to say to something like that?

It was all way too strange to Ange. Even in this place she had talked to people, but it wasn't like any of them were particularly close friends of hers by now, more just people she talked to and whose names she knew. And back home she hardly even had friendly contacts at all, and yet despite not having spent too much time with him yet, this guy was already saying this much, more than most people ever had. 'I'm here to help you'..

She swallowed thickly, her reply not coming until a few moments later. ]

...

You're way too talkative for a sword either way.

[ At that she quickly turned herself away from him again, so once more he would be faced with her back. Her hands went back to clutching at the bed sheets for a quiet moment or two before she - more softly - mumbled again. ]

You care enough to listen that much to someone you don't even know very well..?

[ It took him by surprise, that reply of hers. He just burst out laughing, returning back to his relaxed position on the bed, both hands behind his head. Now that was the Ange he knew. He looked over to her, still smiling, as she continued. ]

Nah. Nothing like that. [ A pause. ]

I care enough to listen to you.

Edited 2012-09-12 21:53 (UTC)

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I NEED TO HURRY UP AND SWITCH ACCOUNTS I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH SAD/SERIOUS ICONS.

yuri why are you swordfighting with that pillow.

it started it. mama ange, ground it.

yuri, /you/'re grounded. :|

but mama ange, papa yuri loves you

MAMA ANGE IS TOO TSUN FOR THIS.

PAPA YURI IS PLEASED BY THIS.

well papa yuri will have to deal with a comment combo 1 / 3

2 / 3

okay 3 / 3

no comment spam for mama ange