soul_logs | [OPEN]

Entry tags:

[OPEN]

Characters: OPEN
Location: Outskirts of Nevada
Rating: PG
Time: All day, Feb 27
Description: Shibusen offers a field trip to acclimate the guests to the Madness wavelength.

It's a perfectly pleasant day for the most part, if one is to look at the sky and maybe the horizon. For the attendees of the fieldtrip, however, things are naturally a lot more grim, if also lot more colorful. There are understandably no civilians in the area -- or any other signs of life apart from the group.

As promised, the location is extensively arranged to cordon off various areas of the place where Madness spikes have been identified. They are all properly labeled, both with text and visuals, and discreet agents kept an eye on all corners of the large field. The mirror by which the guest will come in is set in a corner, with some food provided next to it.

People are free to come and go, though the other end leads to the clinic instead of the Death Room. The rules are simple: venture into a level you think you can handle, and if you can't, someone will help.

In the afternoon, a light rain will come to add some variety to the endless desert. Make sure to take shelter in the open tents provided to protect you from the elements!

[ooc: Just put in open tags in the comments, [Character Name | Open/Close | Area/sort of madness targeted/whatever marker you want].

Plotting and information post was here.]

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"No. I still feel it." He gestured, probably meaningless to anyone but himself, a banishing motion towards the fire that wasn't there.

"Not so bad right now. I was expecting it."

What he hadn't expected was for Bakura to be stubborn about this, and it shifted Mello's opinion of the kid a few ticks higher.

"What happened to your hand?"

Said hand twitched a moment at the mention, Bakura's right moving to cover it again as the echo of the Voice in his head cackled triumphantly. Shut up, shut up, shut up, I still beat you you stupid voice, shut up!

He took a deep breath, forcing himself to refocus on the outside world. "It-- it's something from home," he attempted to deflect. "It's nothing."

Just yet another mark the Ring's Voice had left on him. A mangled hand go do with the punctured chest and the gouged arm. Just thinking about it seemed to let the Madness in even further, his shoulders hunching up as his body tensed in anger before he caught himself and near visibly fought to pull himself back together. No. He could do this. He wasn't going to turn into the Voice or let it control him when it wasn't real. Focus, Bakura Ryou! Focus!

No, Mello thought. Anything the madness brought to the forefront of one's mind was important, and he was in control of himself enough to realize that Bakura wasn't being as open about this as he was about almost everything else. A strategy he'd admitted to, when he couldn't lie.

Most of the advice he could've offered Bakura involved him having a partner, and Mello wasn't about to volunteer, not after the last time he'd tried to resonate with someone who wasn't Near. But he wasn't going to let it seem like he didn't know anything.

"A memory's only as strong as you let it be," he said, and almost laughed at the irony of saying that, when he was waging his own battle between what his senses told him and what he knew was true. "Whatever happened to you, it's as much in the past as what happened to me."

Bakura was quiet a long moment, fidgeting with his scar. "What if it's not...?" he finally asked. Monster World was, but the Voice wasn't. The Voice wasn't even just back home either...

Though logically, he knew that the Voice he was hearing wasn't the real Voice. Just his echo. But it was still a reminder.

"..Do you think... that maybe something could be learned by this? By what you hear or see when..." His fingers flexed a moment. "When we're affected by the Madness?"

Mello thought for a moment, or tried to, fighting a wave of nausea as phantom pain hit him--not phantom, really, wasn't that only for bits of you that were actually missing? Ghost pain, then.

He wrenched his focus back to here and now.

"It uses our own minds against us. Whatever it stirs up, it's got to be a pretty accurate map of our mental weaknesses."

Bakura tensed slightly as the mocking laughter echoed harshly in his head, putting a hand to his forehead, doing his best to avoid yelling at the Voice. Shut up shut up shut up you stupid Voice, I'll kill you again if I have to get out of my head get out get out "Get out!"

He hadn't realized he'd yelled that last part, far to focused on trying to push the Voice out of his head.

Mello took a step back before realizing that the shout probably wasn't directed at him.

There was likely some trick well-adjusted people knew for regaining their mental footing, but he didn't know it.

"If you let it get to you, you let it win." That was the best advice Mello had. As someone who knew too well what it was like to fight his own insecurities, he felt he was better-qualified than anyone who'd preach some sort of just believe in yourself touchy-feely crap.

Bakura put a hand over his mouth, making a visible effort to get himself back under control. "S-- sorry, I didn't--" he shook his head slightly. "M-- maybe I should... should stick to a lighter area... I..." Deep breath. Focus. Calm. "No. No I can do this..." he coached himself, flexing his hands in and out of fists as he tried to refocus. "Can't let him win..." he whispered intensely before finally calming.

Deep breath. He flattened his hands before looking up again. "Sorry, I-- I'm used to having someone... before Vash or Leo was there. Doing this alone..." he shook his head. "More reasons we need partners, huh?" His smile was forced, but getting better.

"You're a weapon? Try transforming."

Near had changed on Christmas Eve, when--it was perfectly obvious in retrospect, with what Mello had learnt recently--he'd been overwhelmed by emotions he hadn't wanted to deal with. He wouldn't have done it unless he knew he'd feel safer, more centered, in his weapon form.

"I won't try to wield you." He was still sure that would be a horrible idea for both of them. "But just changing should help."

He could still hear the dull roar of a hot wind, and a staticky sound that might have been flames. It was getting harder to tune out the longer it went on, but if Bakura could stick out what he was going through, Mello could certainly handle this.

Bakura nodded. "Just hold out your hand to catch me..."

He closed his eyes, form seeming to glow and blur for just a moment before seeming to vanish, a small white d10 that seemed to be riddled with cracks dropping into Mello's hand in his place.

Despite all instincts, the thin red thread did not attach, only the edge of it visible, waving in the wind. As much as Bakura wanted to cling to someone and resonate to find stability, if Mello didn't want to wield him...

Mello was used to Near's Rubik's cube form, and he held out his hand instinctively to catch the die.

What wasn't instinctive was keeping his mind completely closed after doing that, made all the more difficult by having to split his concentration between maintaining his mental distance and fighting off the distorted memories.

"Better?" he asked, not sure if he could expect an answer without resonating.

"Yeah." There was a general stability in his Weapon form, despite the damaged appearance. With all that that form represented, with what it reminded him of, it was far easier for Bakura to center and focus and gather his determination.

Even if he kept having to stop himself from reaching out to the one who held him. It was almost like a small dance, the thread reaching out to attach, only to pull back and wrap around the die again as Bakura reminded himself to stop.

Mello was fighting the same battle, trying to resist the muscle memory that urged him to curl his fingers around the die and make mental contact.

From everything Death the Kid had said, a partner was essential to battling the madness wavelength. If Mello should someday find himself in a situation where he couldn't get to Near, self-preservation could demand temporarily partnering with someone else (he didn't like that scenario at all).

Despite his earlier reservations, it was worth a try, so Mello reached out, with a caution he seldom showed in his actions, the caution of someone executing a procedure he knew could backfire.

It felt strange, prickly, but his awareness of the flames receded a bit.

Oh. Oh, that does help.

The red thread attached with a gentle firmness as Bakura relaxed into the resonance, doing his best not to be intrusive. It wasn't as warm or comfortable as with Vash or Leo, feeling almost a bit like a new pair of dress shoes that needed to be broken in, or like the suit he had for the formal occasions at the museum. Without a thought he tried to adjust, to do what he could to make the resonance work better, feeling out the connection gently as he did so.

Support was best when it was from both sides, after all. To give as much support as he received.. it was the best he could do in these situations.

'It really does. Most of the time when I'm resonating with someone, I barely feel the Madness at all. It's a real big help...'

Resonating with Near was never easy, a tightrope-walking act for both of them most of the time, trying to open up enough to be effective, while never, ever opening up enough to be vulnerable. It was strange to resonate with someone who was actively trying to make it easier. Mello needed the challenge Near gave him; this worked, but it was like sleeping on a mattress that was too soft.

He couldn't help but hold back, though he tried to follow the advice he'd collected when he asked about how to fight off the madness wavelength, and attempt to be a steadying mental presence. Not being alone in his mind had started to help even more when Bakura's weapon form had made the physical connection, too.

All right, I might have underestimated the usefulness of your trying so hard to be easy to get on with.

Unlike Mello's careful guarding of himself, there there was a seeming openness from Bakura, as the things he kept hidden were buried deeply and under many layers of inconsequential things he easily would share that they were as effectively hidden as if he were tightly guarded.

Bakura laughed softly. 'It's really helpful at times, more often than it isn't, I think. Especially with situations like this.' Anything that he could do to be helpful... it made him feel like he had a purpose, like he was wanted.

It wasn't something he could explain, or that he wanted to explain. But there was a grateful warmth that escaped through their connection.

That felt odd, too, a warmth not at all like the feeling he sometimes got with Near, as if they were wrapped in a fleecy blanket (was that Near's comparison, or his? it didn't seem to matter). It was one-sided: Mello imagined he was far from the easiest person to resonate with, and he knew his mind wasn't the most fun place to be. Hell, even he didn't enjoy living in it all the time.

It didn't surprise him that Bakura was so open in this, or that he thought in terms of how to be useful to others. Mello had come to expect that from the kid.

He couldn't settle into the resonance fully; it was just off enough to be slightly uncomfortable. But the aural and tactile hallucinations were barely there anymore.

We've sufficiently proved we can cope with madness, don't you think?

'I think so, yeah,' Bakura nodded. 'Time to get back to sanity?'

Yes, I think so.

Mello held onto the die tighter, mostly instinctively, and made his way back out of the roped-off madness zone. This had worked better than he expected, and he couldn't help but wonder how much more effective it would've been with someone he'd resonated with before.

Not bad, kid.

The warm feeling that bubbled up from that was much like one would expect a puppy to have when praised. 'Thank you...'

There was a slight pause. 'It's Bakura, Bakura Ryou. I don't think we ever introduced ourselves...' A touch of embarrassment with that realization. They had spoken how many times and Bakura had neglected to offer his name?

Mello had made a point of finding out Bakura's name already. He tended to keep a close eye on anyone who got close to L.

He didn't think it was odd to go so long without a proper introduction--he generally didn't offer his own name, not unless someone either asked for or earned it. Bakura (who would probably always be 'kid' some of the time) had earned it by now.

I'm Mello.

He felt that puppyish happiness in having done well. Too bad more people weren't that eager to please.

I'm setting you down now.

'OK!'

There was barely a moment's pause before the die began to glow and Bakura transformed back into himself. Despite being just a touch rattled by the Madness, he felt as if he had accomplished something and felt better than he had before going in. "Thanks so much for your help, Mello," he smiled warmly.

Mello wouldn't have admitted it, but he was relieved resonating with Bakura hadn't ended in injury.

"Thank you, too." He didn't usually bother with pleasantries like that, but he did know how to use them when called for.

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[OPEN]

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For sake of the log, let's assume he can get one? :) I have no idea either way.

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