soul_logs | [OPEN]

Entry tags:

[OPEN]

Characters: OPEN
Location: Outskirts of Nevada
Rating: PG
Time: All day, Feb 27
Description: Shibusen offers a field trip to acclimate the guests to the Madness wavelength.

It's a perfectly pleasant day for the most part, if one is to look at the sky and maybe the horizon. For the attendees of the fieldtrip, however, things are naturally a lot more grim, if also lot more colorful. There are understandably no civilians in the area -- or any other signs of life apart from the group.

As promised, the location is extensively arranged to cordon off various areas of the place where Madness spikes have been identified. They are all properly labeled, both with text and visuals, and discreet agents kept an eye on all corners of the large field. The mirror by which the guest will come in is set in a corner, with some food provided next to it.

People are free to come and go, though the other end leads to the clinic instead of the Death Room. The rules are simple: venture into a level you think you can handle, and if you can't, someone will help.

In the afternoon, a light rain will come to add some variety to the endless desert. Make sure to take shelter in the open tents provided to protect you from the elements!

[ooc: Just put in open tags in the comments, [Character Name | Open/Close | Area/sort of madness targeted/whatever marker you want].

Plotting and information post was here.]

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Who are you to tell anyone what to do? Here you are, racing after him like you're going to save him but you're not going to be able to do a damn thing if he doesn't want your help. Who would? He doesn't need you, you know he can't stand you. He should have never come back for you then, you're not worth the time, the disappointment. All your failures.

"Will you shut the hell up?!" Kotetsu shouted at no one, not because he had forgotten that those frustrating words were mere voices in his head but he figured that the more he spoke, the easier it would be for Barnaby to focus in on him and not whatever was troubling him.

Once he finally arrived he skidded to a halt and reached down quickly, trying to grab a hold of his partner's arm to haul him up and drag him off over to one of the safer areas. "Get up, Bunny get up, come with me! Don't listen to them, just listen to me! We're going somewhere safe, you're gonna be fine, I promise!"

You promise? Then you're going to let him down like you let her down. Kotetsu shook his head and simply tightened his hold on Barnaby's arm. "Bunny come on already!"

And there was touch. A hand on his arm, trying to pull him. He couldn't keep the grip on his head and both hands slipped, separating almost instantly. Barnaby's head turned up, bloodshot eyes staring directly at his partner.

Or what had been his partner. From this angle, in the light, he could see a silhouette. A shadow, this form--smirking, probably going for him next. Smoke, flames, fire, bodies, he hated it, he hated it! But he couldn't turn away; he could only struggle, trying to free his arm. This wasn't Stern Bild, there was no organization destroying his life. Then why was this person here?!

"No!"

He just began to fight the person off, using both arms to shove and hit. Anything to let them go, anything to keep them from pushing him too far down. He just had to fight it off. Fight them off. He could. He would.

"What are you-- dah! Oi, stop!" Kotetsu blocked the hits while trying to grab a hold of Barnaby's arms, get him to stop and calm down without hurting him, but he was frantic in his struggles almost as if he didn't know who he was. Didn't know... maybe it would help if he told him who he was then?

From between a few grumbled curses and still trying his best to get Barnaby to stop trying and fight back against him, Kotetsu continued to call out to him. "Bunny stop, it's me! Listen to my voice, it's Kotetsu! Old man, remember? I'm not gonna hurt you--"

Are you sure about that? Isn't that what you'd always tell them?

Suddenly, Kotetsu lost his footing as the voice sent a rush of panic through him, of fear, as if he really was worried about hurting Barnaby and he found himself stumbling back. He still managed to keep a grip of Barnaby's forearms but he was gradually finding himself pushed back one unsteady step at a time.

He continued to struggle, just trying to escape. Kotetsu yelling.... He could definitely hear Kotetsu's voice calling for him. Something he was saying, but at this proximity he couldn't ignore him. He really wanted to escape, though. Even if it was Kotetsu, he couldn't be this close. He needed to go, he just had to move away. Everything would stop once he managed to get to a place by himself.

If he could find one.

If one even existed.

It doesn't.

It was just hard fighting him back from this angle. Kotetsu had a good grip on his arms and the angles didn't play in his favor. And when Kotetsu managed to stumble back, he practically tugged Barnaby forward. Enough was enough. He lashed out, this time taking an offensive. He couldn't free himself from just sitting here, after all, so he just shot a leg forward to try and kick Kotetsu away. He'd be able to free his arms once the other man let go, even if it knocked him down.

Before he could attempt to try and push Barnaby back, maybe event try to haul him over his shoulder the tension in his body and those voices increased, and it distracted him enough that he couldn't block the kick. He stumbled back with a yelp, falling hard flat on his back, and unknowingly to him right past the edge of where a high level area began. Just as he'd been about to push himself up he looked forward and Barnaby no longer stood in front of him, some dark, unknown figure taking his place. He couldn't see a face but there were lips, and they moved, and he couldn't hear a voice but he knew what the word was.

Monster. Monster. You're a monster. All you do is hurt people.

More voices, more whispers, harsh and condescending and cruel. Eyes watching him, faces judging him, fingers pointed in his direction.

That's him, that's the monster. Him right there. Don't talk to him, he'll hurt you. He's not human. Don't let him touch you. Why is he here? Who let him exist? Disgusting NEXT. Why can't he just go away? Why can't he just disappear?

A woman's body draped by a white sheet flashed before his eyes, and when he blinked the sheet was covered in red.

He looked down.

His hands were covered in red.

You're a monster.

Kotetsu's hands shot up, clutched at his head as he buried his face against his knees, murmuring faint weak apologies, that he was sorry, that he didn't want to hurt anyone, that he would never hurt anyone, that he never wanted to be like this, and yet the voices wouldn't stop and even as he shouted for them to stop they wouldn't.

The move was enough to free him. And for a brief second, he could see Kotetsu staring at him, eyes wide and panicked. That just weirded him out more. Because he had kicked him away to free himself? He didn't know--he didn't want to know.

The fact that he was free was enough to move. He didn't know what was going on, and he didn't want to. Just shouting and pleading, and sounds and noises that weren't connecting to the flames at all. Overall, it hurt. It worried and concerned him, and he really wished he had his Hundred power so he could just leave. He needed to leave.

Leaving. Yes. He just had to find a way out. Somehow.

Turning around, he rose to his feet, but staying up seemed to be quite the challenge. His legs felt like lead, as if something was holding him back, trying to keep him in place.

No escape.

No leaving at all, just standing there, amidst the flames--

There weren't any flames! No flames and no fire and no

Smoke. Seizing up in his lungs, burning his eyes. It was too bright, the flames were way too bright. (Wait, no, that had to be the sun. This couldn't be happening, not again!) It was all far too bright. He tried moving his legs again, but he still couldn't move. He was too scared to.

His head was so full of voices, why wouldn't the voices stop, why wouldn't they leave him alone, why couldn't they understand that everything they were saying wasn't true? He wasn't a monster.

You're a monster.

He's not.

You're a monster.

He's not he's not he's not. "I'm not..." Kotetsu cried out quietly, fingers digging into his scalp, hands shaking and when something moved ahead of him he jerked his head back up, and the figure was still shapeless and he didn't know what to do. Was this the person telling him all these things?

I'm so disappointed in you.

And then his eyes widened, and he could see her. Tomoe, her back turned to him, all in white, the sheet draped over her still but he knew it was her because it was her voice, it was her, she was walking away from him, she was leaving him because he'd let her down-- and again, in the blink of an eye, the figure changed and the person in front of him was Barnaby.

You're not the hero I need.

"No!" He yelled out desperately and tried to scramble back to his feet, managed to at least get unsteadily to his knees and reach out, try and grab an arm, pull her-- him, both of them back, keep them here because he couldn't let them leave him again when he hadn't done anything wrong. "Please don't go, please--!"

No? The word echoed in his brain, almost like it was protesting everything he was thinking. But that wasn't his voice--he wasn't moving. But he could. Just had to think, or try to think. Think enough to get his body to slowly turn around.

And his eyes just stared at the being on the ground. He knew it wasn't his dad, but that was all he saw. His father, that happy, wise man who liked to pat his head and tell him stories, dead and bloody and

Oh god

The hand that grabbed for his arm wasn't cold, wet, or even remotely charred. Definitely not a corpse, but-- but, his dad! What...?

What was going on?

He just made a move to free his arm again, his other hand reaching over to smack this one away. Whatever it was, whoever it was--this not-his-dad--he needed the space.

There was absolutely no way he could let go, no matter how much resistance he got, and the more Barnaby struggled the more Kotetsu just held on as tightly as he could, tried to pull himself back on his feet but it was so hard, like something was weighing him down.

He could hear bitter laughter all around him now, could still feel those judging eyes on him, voices telling him he was so pathetic and weak. Give up. No one wants you. No one needs you. Just give up and be alone. It's what you deserve.

No no no no no he refused he couldn't he wouldn't ever let go he needed to keep trying he needed to fix this now.

A sudden feeling rushed through Kotetsu's body, something that was formally more like his NEXT powers activating, which would happen on accident when he was a child, afraid and nervous and unable to control his strength during times like these. But he didn't have his powers, and so instead, when his grip on Barnaby's arm tightened his fingers changed and out of his own panic those fingers turned into claws.

He couldn't free his arm again. Through all of this, his arm was grabbed again and he couldn't let go. Whatever this problem was, it seemed dead set on keeping him there, no matter how much he fought back.

But even his fighting didn't prepare him for the sharp, sudden pain of metal claws digging into his flesh. He gasped aloud, his steps staggering from the surprise at the feeling. The blades had definitely sliced through his sweater, leaving his arm cut and stinging, the pressure squeezing against the wounds he was making. It hurt. Although Barnaby was no stranger to pain, he could still register this sensation as a negative one. And through the feeling of the grip, knowing the familiar yet unregistered hum of a known heartbeat, Barnaby could see Kotetsu.

No, that didn't make sense.

He stared at the crimson liquid as it began to pour from the wound. One drop turned into two, which turned into a number he couldn't count. And it was dripping down to his palm, coating his fingers. Why did this grip hurt? An injury, yes. But this wasn't what had happened, he could tell. The blood fell like raindrops, raindrops on that cold, dark night which left him looking at the remains of their house-- Ouroboros did this. Ouroboros burned his house and cut him. Somehow.

Barnaby tried to tug his arm free yet again.

Barnaby's blood trickled down the thin blades slowly, down his palm and wrist and it was then that Kotetsu realized what he'd done, looked up and managed to register the look of pain on his partner's face. He'd hurt him. He'd never hurt him like this before and there he was with his blood on his hands and the voices laughed at him more and he just about was ready to break. I TOLD YOU SO. I TOLD YOU IT WOULD HAPPEN, YOU MONSTER.

'It's the pain of friendship.'

That wasn't one of the voices though. His eyes widened, his breath caught in his throat, and he realized that... it was his voice, and like some sort of switch the Madness faltered, just for a brief second, just enough for him to realize what he needed to do.

'You and I... We're the best team ever!'

Kotetsu yanked his hands away, shut his eyes tightly and then stood with all of the strength he had left. He wrapped his arms around Barnaby's waist, mindful not to touch him with his hands again and then pushed as hard as he could, enough to at least get them out of the high level zone and back to medium, focusing as hard as he could on that one single, faint yet clear voice.

And finally, the sharp grip on his arm let go, and Barnaby could pull his arm away. He wanted to check it to see the extent of the injury, but his eyes kept getting drawn to the drips that slid past his fingertips and went for the floor. The pace wasn't too fast, but it was intriguing.

Weird and strange and sharp and--he was moving. A warm pair of arms had seized him and began to shove him away. Barnaby cooperated, just this once, eyes still watching as the drops stained the ground beneath them. It wasn't until they slipped out of the high level that Barnaby was beginning to register that it was blood and something that shouldn't be pouring all over the place.

"Oh..."

Nothing but a faint sound of realization, since his mind was still reeling. But he knew he was moving, and for however long Kotetsu pushed him, he would continue to walk.

He just kept pushing and shoving, urging his feet to keep moving until finally he could feel that extra heavy weight of fear and panic and doubt lift off of his shoulders, and he sucked in a heavy breath at the fleeting relief of it, but he knew they weren't out of the clear yet. They were still in a lot of trouble, Barnaby was injured and he had no idea whether or not he was in his right mind yet, especially since he could still hear those voices. They weren't as harsh as before but they were still there, telling him how weak he was to allow any of this to happen, and there was no way Barnaby would forgive him, see anything redeemable about him ever again. Except--

'Your enthusiasm is your only strong point, isn't it?!'

He could remember Barnaby's tear-stained face so vividly, hear the pain in his voice, all the confidence he had in him to overcome anything. With that reminder embedded into his mind, keeping those murmured but still persistent negative voices fueled by the Madness at bay, Kotetsu's arms unwrapped from Barnaby's waist and he reached for his hands, claws shifting back to fingers and when he gripped tightly he switched over to his weapon form.

Immediately, Kotetsu began yelling as loud as he could to grab Barnaby's attention, trying to resonate with him even with the fatigue and exhaustion creeping up on him caused by the Madness. 'Bunny, B-Bunny get-- get out of here now! Go! BUNNY HURRY UP AND GO, DAMN IT!'

Just the dragging and shuffling of feet and moving kept urging Barnaby forward. He wasn't sure where, not just yet--no, his mind was still trying to register things, still too lost to the madness to fully comprehend his surroundings just yet. But it was getting weaker, less sharp. He couldn't smell the smoke, he could only smell outdoors, feel the sun on his face, but... The flames and Ouroboros and the gun--

And then the tugging of his soul. He paused for a moment, his feet coming to a stop as his hands felt the heavy weights pressed against them. He was quick to grab hold. Catching Kotetsu's weapon form had turned into reflexes by now, reflexes that definitely came in handy for times like this. Holding the claws, he found himself looking forward, trying to take in his surroundings. A dark cloud threatened to overtake everything, an indescribable force trying to shout over the sound. But there was Kotetsu's voice.

Go. Go meant run. Barnaby wasn't sure why, but he could ask later. Tightening his hands, he ran forward, eyes scanning the area for any possible enemies. They were going to fight, weren't they? Some enemy, possible invisible, maybe not-- Or... They weren't.

Barnaby had brought them straight into the safe zone, and as all the sounds and thoughts and noises began to slide away, he stared down at the claws.

"...old man...?"

A little longer, he had to stay strong for them just a little longer. He could feel their resonance faltering for every step that Barnaby took but it was only expected of the infinite stubbornness that Kotetsu held, for him to try and hold out until he knew they were well into the safe zone. The only thing left of the Madness was faint, distant echoes, but they had done their damage and he knew that once they were in the clear he'd barely be able to keep himself upright, and once they finally made it out of low and to one of the safe areas he wanted nothing more than to collapse onto the floor and rest.

But he couldn't, not yet, because he'd hurt Barnaby and he needed to be taken care of and... and he must be so tired... he needed help, he still needed to help him, he... once Barnaby's voice finally came through, that nickname he didn't think he'd ever be so happy to hear, Kotetsu changed back and stood in front of his partner, looking like he'd gone through hell and back.

"Y-yeah, old man... I'm... Bunny, are you... o... kay..." His words faltered as he drifted in and out of consciousnesses, and when he reached forward to set a hand on his partner's shoulder he hesitated because he was afraid of hurting him again. But he wouldn't. He wouldn't hurt him ever again, and so he leaned forward, resting his head on his partner's shoulder, hands weakly grasping onto Barnaby's arms to try and keep himself upright. "We're... done..."

They sure were going to feel terrible tomorrow.

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