soul_logs | [Closed]

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Characters: Taro Namatame, Souji Seta
Location: Shibusen, Kishin Chamber
Rating: G? PG? Something like that.
Time: Afternoon, October 12
Description: Each with their own history, Namatame and Souji go to see the Kishin chamber where Adachi was once taken down in the past.

Two months. Two months and a couple of weeks on top of that, actually. It wasn't all that long ago, but it seemed like much more time than that had passed since Namatame had found himself in Death City and first heard about the killer being here and gone. Part of that was the war and the circumstances they were in, but still something was different about this place. He didn't know what it was, but he felt different here compared to in Inaba any time in the past year.

As he headed out of his apartment, he faltered slightly even as he walked on. Why was he doing this? He still missed Mayumi and regretted her and Saki Konishi's deaths, but they'd died at the murderer's hands and there was nothing he could do to change that. Coming here wouldn't bring either of them back to life--he knew that. All the same, though, Namatame wanted to do this. He didn't have any real plans, but maybe that was okay. Before he'd been driven on a mission so blindly that he'd nearly killed all those kids before realizing what he'd done; and now that he was still aimless and trying to find a new direction for himself, he felt more than ever that he was doing something right this time.

He pushed away his lingering doubt as he approached Shibusen and stood at the entrance, waiting there for Seta to arrive. He was glad to be doing this, and there was no question about that.

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"But we caught you," Souji said, still inspecting the chains with a determined look. He couldn't look at Namatame right now, though. He was guilty, yes, but he wasn't guilty of anything here. And he was right. Adachi had never changed; he kept on killing, even while being here.

Namatame had changed, though. He had a chance to do good, and he was doing it, as best he knew how. And he deserved the right to know.

"I was pulled here while we were fighting our way through his dungeon. I should be there right now, instead of here."

Dungeon. There was that word again. Namatame didn't really get it, not entirely, but he could tell what Seta was trying to say. It was like he'd failed, too...even if it wasn't so much his fault as it was BREW's. He could understand that sentiment rather easily. Namatame already knew that Seta wasn't as content being here as he was (and he had enough right to, Namatame might have felt much worse here if not for some things), but to be taken in the middle of action like that--he was more than familiar with the drive to stop a killer from succeeding, and he could still remember how desperate he'd been when he'd thought that girl's life was being threatened. It wasn't anything he wanted to repeat.

"Whatever happens, you'll stop him," he said. "I know I don't know as much about him or whatever you're doing as any of you kids, but I believed you would be able to do it since you helped me realize the truth. And after talking to some of your friends here, I don't have any less reason to believe that."

It wasn't the best of encouragement, he knew, but it was the best he could think of at the moment.

He wasn't sure what he had expected from Namatame, really. Probably not encouragement, at the very least; little understanding about it, maybe, but there was so much more there. And he turned to look at the older man, studying him seriously before he nodded.

"...Thank you. That means a lot, coming from you," He said softly, giving him a slight smile. A small one, but it was still there. It's another few minutes before he speaks again.

"I honestly believe that without you, we wouldn't have known where else to look to. Even if your methods didn't help, you did. And I am truly sorry for everything you've had to go through."

It was strange to hear that sort of thing, from these kids. He didn't really hold their actions back when they'd thought him the murderer against them, but he knew that they couldn't be fond of him after all he'd done. He hadn't been fond of himself. But here they were, thanking him. Telling him he'd actually done some good.

It'd been getting easier to believe that lately. It felt nice.

"You don't have to feel sorry for me," he said. "I think that in the end, Mayumi and that girl have to be the ones who suffered the most because of him. You and I are still alive...they didn't get that chance." And he still felt that ache in his chest, the emptiness that came with losing the person who'd understood him most, but it wasn't quite as bad as it used to be. He didn't know if he'd ever be free of it entirely, but having come this far he did feel a little better.

He was nodding, agreeing, even before he was finished talking. he had talked about it with Yosuke, in the months after Saki's death, that he knew what it could be like. To hold someone dear to you, and then for them to be gone, just like that.

It was with stunning clarity that he realized that maybe, just like in Yosuke's case, Namatame had never gotten that chance. Had never had anyone to ask him the questions that needed to be asked. A chance to say what he wanted to say. Souji was glad to know that, even if it did leave him feeling sad. But everyone needed some kind of catharsis. His wasn't meant to be had yet.

"What was she like?" He asked quietly.

"She was..." He sighed. He was surprised to hear a question like that--nobody had ever cared before--and trying to come up with the words was surprisingly difficult. He didn't even know where to begin, and it had been such a long time since he'd gotten to spend time with her.

"She was the best person I could ever hope to know. I hadn't smiled like I did with her since I first married my wife." The edges of his mouth twitched at that, and he turned away towards the way they'd come. He didn't want to look at the scenery just then. "She was so easy to talk to, and she believed in me even when my wife didn't. Mayumi knew what it was like, looking at the way things were and wanting to just go out and do something real for people, no matter how small...we kept each other going, you could say, before things started going wrong and the news got out."

Souji was ready to leave this place. But he would wait for Namatame, no matter how long he wanted to be in here. How long he needed to be in here. And Souji wasn't going to rush anyone else's healing process, as he smiled slightly and put his hands into his pockets.

"She sounds like an amazing woman," He said softly, looking away from the scenery as well. He didn't know what he expected to get from this place, but he had gotten something much different, and probably better.

"She was." Namatame smiled again, this time bittersweet but for real. "Soon enough she'll have been gone for a year. She didn't deserve that happening to her...neither did Saki. Maybe nobody deserves it."

He eyed the inside of the room through the edges of his vision. "I'm glad that he's been stopped, no matter how it happened. That might have been what I wanted from the very beginning, before I got caught up in delusions of being a hero. It didn't happen the way I expected at all, but it really is all over now."

"Nobody deserves what he did," Souji said quietly, with a small nod accompanying it. No one did. But he just looked at Namatame, noting that he still was only a man. None of the evil that they all once expected.

"Now that it's over, you can move on. Do what you think is right, here, instead of what people expected from you. And you live for people, even if they're not here. I think you can do it."

"Even if they're not here..." Doing that, and moving on at the same time. Not forgetting people, but making things happen on his own terms as well. He hadn't been sure that was possible before, but along with the other talks he'd had with people when Seta said it now the idea didn't seen so unachievable.

"Yeah," he said. "That's what I should be trying to do, isn't it? All this time I've been afraid to make another mistake, or let somebody down. But I know that was the wrong thing to do." He thought of the mission he'd gone on again, and how it had felt to see the kidnap victims back among them once everything was over. "Before, when I decided to go out and help those rescue efforts--it felt good. And if I could, I think I'd do it again."

"Then do it. Go on other missions, go out and help people," Souji said, giving a small nod. "If you've done it once, you can definitely do it again."

"Yeah...that's what I want to do." It was surprising. Wanting to help people by itself wasn't anything new, but to Namatame it felt like he was starting to find some kind of direction here even though he hadn't intended to starting out. "And this time, I won't mess up like I did before."

Or so he hoped. He'd done it once, at least. Maybe he could continue that way.

"There aren't too many chances for you to like back home," Souji said softly, and he gave him a faint smile. "But now you know for the future. I think you'll be great."

"Thank you." Namatame could tell that Seta really was being honest, and given what he'd done before--well. "That means a lot to me. You, and the other people here...except for Mayumi, nobody's believed anything like that for me in years."

And now that he'd realized that, he remembered how different it was having people who had that kind of confidence in him around all the time. When was the last time he'd had that? Two or three years, maybe four. It had been a while, anyway, and at that thought he felt lucky now.

Was it him, the people, or something else? He didn't know, but then the result was the same either way.

"I know you have a lot of people here, so. You're welcome," Souji smiled, giving him a small nod. He was being honest, and...it felt good, to help someone.

A small glimmer of hope in another sparked some in him. If Namatame could find the good in all of this, then he could as well.

Namatame took another glance at the other side of the room, all the tape and chains and the eyes. Knowing that the murderer had been brought down here...it was sobering and relieving at the same time, but it didn't seem so ominous anymore. All of that was over. And now--well, that part was still ongoing.

"I think I'm just about finished here now." He looked over at Seta, trying to figure out how he was doing. "What about you?"

That's what this all was, now. It was a second chance. And for everyone involved, really. He might find his own second chance here, after awhile. And that would be nice. Relieving.

"I'm good. There's nothing for me here, now. That's a relief to know."

"Then let's go." Namatame took a step forward, gesturing for the other to go with him. "Your friends are probably waiting for you, aren't they?"

And...Namatame had a few of his own, really. He was grateful for that--among others, they had been the ones to help him get here today.

"Some of them are," Souji nodded, taking his hands out of his pockets as he made his way to the door. "Let's get out of here. We won't be needing it anymore."

Namatame didn't say anything after that, only nodding and heading with him down the hallway. Everything here had turned out well, considering...it was good.

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