she is the sunlight

[shihandai]

Who: Kaoru Kamiya
What: Takes place after THIS THREAD. Kaoru obviously has a reaction to this, and so it's time to go somewhere and escape and take it in. Saitou Hajime may be a bastard, but he doesn't lie. Still..a fake. Could it be possible?
Where: Probably partially in the streets, leaning towards the training area and probably beyond that. She's just..aimelessly wandering.
Style: Whateva.

--

Last time I checked you had been killed.


First the mission which was still haunting her heart. Then the earthquake--hurdle after hurdle. And then her death.
"Killed." As in..dead. As in not coming back. As in Yahiko, Sanosuke, Megumi-san, Tsubame-chan, Tae-san, Kenshin were all going to be left behind and she was--she was--

The minute she shut off the feed with the stoic, (but never dishonest when it came to her) policeman, Kaoru took a breath, a choppy breath, as the device fell straight out of her shaking hands. She could feel a cold sweat breaking on her face--and knew it to be white as paper with or without a mirror. She could already feel her heart race at an uneven pace--feel her breathing go faster and faster until she felt her head swim. She stumbled a little, tumbling into the wall of her apartment as she clutched her chest, staring blankly at the floor.


"Fake..he did say it--could be fake...didn't he? " Her eyes blinked multiple times, as if in a slight stupor, as she began to open the door, quietly walking down the hallway with a sort of blankness that didn't fit her usually vibrant step, or her bright-eyed smiles. Her face was quietly subdued, and worse, it was as pale as ash; as she walked with her head down, utterly lost in thought.

A few times she bumped into people in the street, Kaoru looking up with a mumbled 'excuse me' as she mulled over the policeman's words.


I wouldn't..I wouldn't let myself die. If he says it might be fake--then I have to believe he's right. I have to believe that--or else--or else I am as good as dead. And I won't let myself be.


She walked  around the city like this, no destination, simply a need to escape--somehow to quell the rising panic that maybe Saitou's other option was wrong. It was too horrible to imagine and she was so set on surviving, so set on living the future she never thought she'd ever be given (with Kenshin) to it's fullest that it was something her heart--could stubbornly not accept.



"Yeah...it's..it's a fake." Her voice was firm, even though she could feel moisture gather at the backs of her eyes. She felt seperate--detached almost. She didn't know how to go forward --not until she could settle herself.

And so that's what she was doing.


The solution was simple, wasn't it?

She'd just have to prevent herself from dying. True or not.

Comments

[shihandai]

I don't need to go to the clinic..don't be stupid. [Kaoru retorts, glancing away as she stares out at the people walking by. ]

....It's fine.

[tauborn]

[He rolls his eyes.] If you're fine, then why were you wandering around like that? Why does it feel like you've only just noticed I'm here with you?

[shihandai]

You know some of us actually think.
[which she's going to be quietly doing as she continues to watch the people. ]

[tauborn]

I think too, Kaoru. But I don't usually do it where I might end up walking right into people.

[He's hoping the humor will lighten the mood, but also point out to her that he's still worried and doesn't like being left in the dark.]

[shihandai]

Please don't ask me to talk about it, Takuto. You're not going to like it. [she cracks a wry smile. ]

[tauborn]

It doesn't matter whether I like it or not.

[And he smiles back.]

[shihandai]

I'm still not going to tell you.

[tauborn]

[He sighs heavily.] Well, it's definitely your right to keep it to yourself.

But I just want you to know that you don't have to. If you're in trouble or feeling down, I'm here to help.

[shihandai]

Do you think BREW..can grant wishes once the war is over?

[tauborn]

[At first he's surprised by the question, because he has no idea what brought it on. But then he thinks about it carefully, finally sighing and giving her his most honest answer.]

I really don't know, Kaoru. Supposedly, BREW can grant anyone a wish, but... I don't think I'd want to ask for anything.

[Because people should just be happy with what they have. They don't know if there's some price that must be paid for any wish, and it's obvious that no one really knows how BREW works.]

[shihandai]

..Yeah. I mean there might be a price right..[she trails off, laughing weakly]
That sounds weird. I'm sure whatever happens when we get back isn't something we can't just change, right?

[tauborn]

[He raises an eyebrow at her, wondering what she's heard.]

Is there something you want to change?

[He looks a little uncomfortable, shifting his weight slightly.] The future... it's not set in stone you know.

[shihandai]

Yeah..--so it's not impossible. And you can't believe everything everyone says, either. So if something bad happens..you can still fix it!

[she seems to gather herself a little]

[tauborn]

[He's not stupid.]

You think there's something bad waiting for you when you return home? Or... [It's not impossible to guess the thing that could upset her the most.] Or... something bad for Kenshin?

[shihandai]

...--It's something that will affect him if it's true. There's also a chance it isn't true.

[tauborn]

You can't let it worry you, Kaoru.

[He nudges her, because it's important that she really hears this and really listens.]

You can't worry about what might happen in the future. People can never really touch the future. But maybe, if you're doing everything you want to be doing--everything you should be doing--right now, you'll be able to have the present you want when you get there.

[shihandai]

I know that. I..It's not like I'm going to let it happen, you know? No matter what I definitely won't..[Die.]

--for Kenshin's sake, I won't let it happen.

[tauborn]

Good. [He can finally really smile comfortably at her, bumping her again to lighten the mood.]

Then there's no need to worry about it, and I'll see you tomorrow morning for training as usual.

[shihandai]

..Yeah. [ she gives him a small smile. she's putting up the act as best she can. her insides are another story. ]

It'll..it'll be alright.

[tauborn]

[He reaches over and gives her a hug. Because, well, she looks like she needs one.]

I have to go to work, actually, but if you need anything, drop by. And you know you can always swing by my apartment, too, right?

[shihandai]

T-To your apartment?! [T-THAT'S SORT OF INAPPROPRIATE. ]

[tauborn]

Um... yes? [Because that is where he lives and he spends a lot of time there.] If you need someone to talk to....

[Though it's a huge relief to see her in the present enough to get embarrassed at the invitation. Even though now that he thinks about it... she probably doesn't know that he's hoping she can be introduced to his puppy.]

[shihandai]

..Sorry it's just...where I come from--that's..pretty--er, sudden. [BUT DISTRACTION IS WORKING!!!

Kaoru tilts her head]

Let me guess your room is a total mess isn't it?

[tauborn]

[He laughs, shaking his head.] I'll have you know it's actually very neat!

Unless my dog has been chewing on that chair again.... [But he obviously loves that little puppy a lot.]

[shihandai]

Dog?