DEERly beloved, we are gathered here today... [CLOSED]

[prosecutory]

Characters: Genesis Rhapsodos and Miles Edgeworth. Eligible hot hardworking bachelors with mad sword skills, etc.
Location: Oklahoma
Rating: PG because killing things.
Time: August 9, all day erryday
Description: There's a half-deer lady who hates going stag so she lures men to her and then does a dance of death over their poor pitiful bodies. Our dynamic duo won't stand for this! And they're not going to be swayed by her charms.

[After Auste is done pulling out all the puns, let us check in on our gorgeous guys making their way toward the forest where men were supposedly drawn into the Deer Woman's lair and then kicked and trampled to death. Honestly, Edgeworth is more appalled by the fact that men would allow themselves to be wrapped around a (supernatural) woman's little finger like that without thinking, but then again, she was a kishin, and those men were most likely not students of Shibusen.

Still, it wouldn't kill people to have a Recognizing Kishin Eggs 101 class along with some self-defense courses, would it?]

Hmph. Would it be too much trouble for these men to be more circumspect with their affairs? [Sorry, dead men. But Edgeworth is still more than willing to end the Deer Woman's reign of terror so at least he's on your side?]

Comments

[recitings]

I think they should have considered what was under her skirt before trying to mount her.

[Genesis snarks.]

Then again, it would certainly be rude to ask a lady to lift her hem before a first date. Ah. Hot blooded men. This must be quite a good kishin if she was able to attract men without donning any mask. Either that, or the men here have absolutely no standards at all.

[Side-comments on the men of Oklahoma aside, Genesis continues to help Edgeworth track their deer lady. Now, if only there were some tracks on the ground, or some kind of musk... or...]

... she lures men, doesn't she? Don't you think she'll come out here to try to lure us?

[prosecutory]

[Edgeworth gives Genesis a Look as he looks around the woods. No tracks, no sign of anything out of the ordinary so far.]

Yes. Let it be known that I work better with a clearheaded Weapon, not one easily brainwashed.

[IT'S LIKE YOU'RE SAYING GENESIS IS MORE LIKELY TO GET HYPNOTIZED OR SOMETHING GEEZ EDGEWORTH.]

[recitings]

[Well...

... anyway, Genesis gives his partner a Look back.]

I wouldn't fall for someone I know is a kishin egg. Only a true idiot would do that.

[prosecutory]

Hmph. Good to know.

[He continues walking ahead, arms crossed over his chest. With his arms crossed like that, there is a clear view of the saber strapped to his belt.]

[recitings]

[When Genesis sees the saber, he is both pleased yet also just the slightest bit wary. Did that mean that his Meister was trusting him less? Did he notice the surge of Black Blood that almost got to him during the attack on the city? But now wasn't the time for concerns like those.

For now, there was a woman they needed to draw out. And lucky for them, Genesis did notice some human movement in the bush.]

Someone's over there.

[He walks ahead of Edgeworth to where the movement was supposedly coming from. He also transforms a part of his arm into the Rapier in case anything was to happen.]

[prosecutory]

[It wasn't that Edgeworth trusted him less. He just wanted to take all the necessary precautions. And of course, he wanted a clean job with as little mess as possible. Well, on his and Genesis' part, of course.

Edgeworth follows Genesis when the latter seems to have observed something, sticking close, one hand instinctively on his saber.]

Be careful.

[recitings]

I will.

[Genesis stalks forward. Well, he was pretty glad that Edgeworth brought his saber now. At least he can rest assured that even if he took the first blow of a kishin, his Meister can gain a tactical advantage by not being on the front line.

Peering past the bushes, Genesis notices... wait, what? Okay. A topless lady in the woods would definitely be that kishin they were looking for, right?]

[prosecutory]

[Edgeworth follows Genesis' line of vision - and instantly pulls back, deliberately looking to the side. Since he felt sane and didn't feel the kishin try to lure him forward or anything, she probably hadn't noticed them (yet) and turned on the charm.

His voice is a faint whisper as his eyes remain averted.]

...I believe we've found her.

[recitings]

[Genesis also has his eyes trained elsewhere, but he keeps the lady in his sights.]

That definitely seems to be the case.

[He whispers back.]

We'll need to approach with caution. There's no telling what she'd do when she realizes we're out to hunt her.

[prosecutory]

Still, I prefer to be prepared when she realizes we are a threat.

[Edgeworth keeps his voice down as he extends his right hand toward his partner.]

[recitings]

Roger that.

[Genesis replies quietly as well as he takes his partner's hand and transforms into the Rapier.]

I mimed Edgeworth nearly falling over while typing this tag SEE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU

[prosecutory]

[He grips the Rapier in both hands and advances slowly and quietly. As much as possible he wanted to make the first strike and keep the element of surprise on his side. The deer woman's back was still turned, and every nerve in Edgeworth's body right now was as taut as a bowstring. He was mentally telling her to stay put but not actually saying anything...

Edgeworth raises the Rapier, ready to behead her right there and then. But just before the blade could make contact with the kishin's neck, she suddenly decides to trot farther away. Thus, he loses his balance and has to steady himself, making quite a bit of noise with rustling leaves under his feet and his tottering footsteps, but luckily for them, the deer woman does not notice and stops several paces away.]

LMAO XD

[recitings]

[Genesis couldn't help but bite down on his lip even from within his soul space to keep himself from laughing as his Meister nearly fell over. It was almost like something out of a comedy, really. But yes, this mission definitely seemed like one that shouldn't cause too much trouble. It's just like deer hunting.

Except that the deer had the upper half of a woman and was naked.]

The things I do for RP (and you)

[prosecutory]

[Edgeworth plants his feet firmly onto the ground, heart racing and legs no longer wobbling.]

I know you wanted to laugh.

[#comedyprotaglyfe]

You know I love you, Auste. <3

[recitings]

Sorry partner.

[Genesis let a little snicker pass him as he communicated to him. Anyway, they should be back on the chase. The deer lady was still in the same spot. She seemed to be gathering... food? It's almost a shame that she was a kishin egg.]

I love you more.

[prosecutory]

[Edgeworth just harrumphs and continues pursuing the deer lady. As he closes the distance, he holds the blade high again -

The deer whirled around and smiled malevolently. At the back of his mind, Edgeworth found himself thinking that perhaps she wasn't so bad after all, but quickly shoved that thought out of his brain, well aware that anything like that could very well be the kishin's charm, comparable to the decisive first domino that would fall and lead to his and Genesis' demise at her hooves.

The prosecutor took a huge step back, shaking his head to clear it.]

I won't lose to her mind games!

[recitings]

Fight it, Edgeworth!

[Genesis had full faith in his partner's fortitude. After all, that was precisely why he decided to keep his partnership with him in the first place. The man simply had a mind of steel.]

Come on then, we'll fight her.

[And almost as if the Deer Lady caught a whiff of what they were thinking, she got up and suddenly bore her fangs and horns. Suddenly, she wasn't as charming as she almost seemed to be.]

[prosecutory]

[Yeah, nothing like the sight of fangs and horns and an angry face to keep Edgeworth from falling prey to her charms.

He focuses on their resonance, focuses on igniting the Rapier, focuses on the battle. The deer suddenly charged, and Edgeworth blocks her horns with the blade. The searing heat from the Weapon causes her to back away with a shriek, and Edgeworth uses this time to add more distance between them - and try to think of better plan while she recovers.]

We have to find an opening, but she is fast.

[recitings]

Looks like the heat will make her want to stay far from us... this should be a cinch with my reach.

[After all, the length of the Rapier was more than just good for taking down large opponents. It was also a specialized weapon to create distance and close distance.]

But if we catch her off-guard... perhaps from behind, using the inertia of swinging the blade...

[With the length of the blade, naturally the part closest to Edgeworth would move the fastest-- and the key then would be to have the lady drawn right into its path.]

[prosecutory]

[Still, Edgeworth preferred using the Rapier in close quarters...he felt that it was a bit more difficult to control it if he had to resort to its reach.]

Very well, then.

[The deer lady paws at the ground and snorts, acting more like a stag now. When she charges, Edgeworth swings the Rapier, ready to put Genesis' plan into action.]

[recitings]

[As he kept an eye on the way the deer woman was moving, Genesis used his soul wavelength to jerk Edgeworth further away from her at just the right time so his blade could do as much damage as it could while drawing her away. And true enough, that one change of movement made the Rapier's blade run over the woman's body thoroughly, from front, all the way to one side of her body.

The inertia of the swing also caused the woman to get slammed into a tree. Well, that was rather brutal.]

[prosecutory]

[Trusting Genesis, Edgeworth allowed him to direct him away from the deer woman. And sure enough, the results couldn't have been better - the kishin was thoroughly sliced, and when it collided with the tree, Edgeworth flinched at the sound.]

[recitings]

Well... that was quite the gruesome finish, wasn't it?

[Genesis had to admit that this had to be one of the most brutal. Probably next to that time they had to deal with poison slugs and there were three of them to take down.]

[prosecutory]

[Edgeworth shakes his head at the remains of the monster - and of course, the red soul that would be for Genesis.

He stares at the Weapon.]

Were you expecting a more glamorous result?

[recitings]

[Genesis huffs a little.]

Well, I've always thought that graceful defeats were the best. But no use complaining. Our job here is done.

[prosecutory]

If Shibusen were more particular about results, it would be much more difficult to reach our goals.

[A shrug.

MISSION END?]

[recitings]

[YUP!]