[OPEN]

[soul_mods]

Characters: OPEN
Location: Death City
Rating: PG13
Time: Feb 14 to 15
Description: Excalibur has hit the city again with his unique presents!


Valentine's in Death City has always been a bit special, what with the red skulls and hearts all around. This year seems to be even more special, unbeknownst to all of its residence.

A certain pantsless creature of great power has decided to use his magic for the greater good! No man, woman, little girl, alien, animal and robot shall go without a present this Valentine's day!

So, my dear, what do you do when you see chocolate in front of your door?

His legend began in the 12th century.


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Comments

[curtissy]

And which Jade might this be? I would take the credit for it, but I'm not fond of chocolates.

[Jade seems to either have been around when Itou said everything or had otherwise been tailing Itou. However it is, he doesn't sound very amused at that moment.]

[pawned]

You are the third to the last person I want to see right now. [accusingly]

[pause. Wait, he has to answer that.] And of course I meant you. You're the only Jade I take food from.

[curtissy]

I'm almost hurt to hear that I'm not on top of that list for poisoning you. [When Jade comes into view, he's some distance away and he sounds even more dry than before.] And I would have to ask you to refrain from speaking about me like that. While the thought is amusing, I can hardly imagine myself as a pet owner.

[pawned]

I know more dangerous people than you. [Have another one of those severe frowns.] And don't you get tired of talking like that?

[curtissy]

[Well, this was certainly getting very odd.]

And why should I be? I've been speaking in this manner for years, and you seem to be intent on inviting attacks onto yourself by speaking like this.

[Then he has a thought. There were these chocolates outside that he ignored, and-]

You didn't happen to eat those chocolates that were outside the doorstep, did you?

[pawned]

Of course I did. [snap] And what do I do that makes me look like I'm asking to be attacked? I would think that I have been obvious in how I try to avoid arguments with you regardless of how abrasive you get, which is usually.

[He's talking about as fast as he can manage, because his mouth wants to keep up with his brain. This is really very bad.]

[curtissy]

[Then Itou should be glad that the most Jade will do is to keep trolling him, unlike other people.

Take for example how he steps forward, deadpan expression on his face.]

You're not trying very well right now, Itou. And if you should happen to be admitted to the clinic again within this day, you might want to reconsider your taste in making very bad choices in life, food, and well- everything else, really.

[pawned]

[He's not entirely devoid of his senses. Mostly. Itou takes a step back to keep their distance, because if Jade comes closer, Itou will have to give in to the urge to hug him.]

My self-respect isn't so terrible to get affected by that, and that's not a subtle threat at all. Isn't that quaint of you, threatening a crippled man with no apparent control over his mouth. [bitter laugh] Actually, go ahead. It might do me a favor to get knocked out for the rest of the day.

[And another pause.] And you shouldn't come closer. I ate the chocolate that makes me hug people, too. My knees and jaw are aching from trying to resist it. So, you see, I'm not all that suicidal either.

[curtissy]

[Jade merely shrugs at that. It's true that he makes lots of threats but very few people actually get caught at the pointy end of it anyway.]

I'm certainly not doing you that favour, seeing that you lack the common sense to not consume chocolate left by complete strangers. [A thoughtful pause; he's not backing away but Jade's definitely not moving forward either.] But at least it seems you still have some control of your body, because I might have to put a stop to this nonsense if you persist.

[pawned]

[Itou never knew that talking while thinking could be so hard. He takes a deep breath and focuses on his thoughts, completely ignoring the fact that his mouth is still running off without him. This is Jade, he thinks (and mutters out loud), and neither of them really gives two shits worth of care about this. Itou lives on control, and being decidedly not in control is sending him into highly agitated panic, which means that his thoughts are running all over the place and at the rate of a mile a second.

This, he concludes (and still mutters some more), is a problem, because more than half of what he thinks isn't meant to leave the confines of his skull, and while he doesn't particularly care about being abrasive, he does value the concept of only saying what he's already thought about a few times in his head.

The answer is to keep calm and slow down. That, and not show himself to people until this whatever it is fades off.

He hates his life right now. His jaw aches from talking.]

[More loudly, and definitely more calmly:] It would be nice if you could, but you've never been one to make things easy for me and I don't want you to start now. However, if you could move a bit to the side, I'm going to continue my way to the Casualty Communal where I had been headed all along so that I can keep out of sight until I figure out how to gag myself.

[curtissy]

[It's really too bad for Itou that Jade isn't the most charitable of men and that he sees a really great opportunity to torture the man right now.

Actually, it's really too bad they even crossed paths today.]

While I'm not an expert on gags, I'm certain that two hands would be more efficient than one.

[pawned]

While I do want your help-- [can't do anything about that, honesty being what it is] -- I don't actually want to have to hug you first for it.

[Walking. Itou is going to start walking away now.]

[curtissy]

[And Jade is going to follow, albeit with a very healthy distance between them.]

Ah, it's the proverbial rock and a hard place. Between the damage you could do with your inability to filter your words and the physical harm you would bring onto yourself for giving hugs, I suppose you may as well knock yourself out on sleeping pills.

[He pauses slightly, for effect.] But that too carries a risk. If you are not careful, you might be finding yourself waking up only a few days later...if at all.

[pawned]

I'll take that risk. [dryly] Takani-sensei lent me something just for that.

[Although Itou is considering just getting the hugging part over and done with. Maybe he can surprise Jade and clobber him on the head before Itou got killed. It's too much of a bad gamble, though; he has no idea what Jade is really capable of in a fight.]

[curtissy]

Takani-sensei? I've spoken to her before, she seems to be quite the lady. [Uh oh, Itou. You may want to consider that suicide by hugging thing right now, because...]

I don't suppose there's anything going on between you two? She seems to be quite fond of you, you know. [Pause.] Even if she did refer to you as a babyish man, but the language of romance isn't my particular speciality.

[pawned]

No, there's nothing going on between the two of us. [flatly, his eye twitching in irritation.] We've become fairly good friends, that's all, and she's free to say whatever she wants. Not that it's any of your business.

[curtissy]

[That's precisely what Jade wants to see, so much that he gets a centimetre closer.]

My my. Those chocolates seem to be helping you in more ways than one!

[pawned]

Did you want to get mouthed at this entire time? You should have just said so instead of carrying on with this shitty charade for weeks. [brusquely, aaaaaaaaand stepping back there.]

[curtissy]

Don't get the wrong idea, now. If it's true that knowing your partner's true personality makes resonance stronger, we've just moved a step ahead. [And of course, Jade wasn't going to say he already suspected as much since Itou had always seemed fairly repressed and harassed.]

[pawned]

I can't really refute that, can I? Except you're obviously not an idiot, so you would have known about my 'personality' even before today. It's a moot point.

[curtissy]

Oh no, that would be me assuming that you're repressed and in bad need of having some fun after atoning for the mistakes you made in your previous life.

Partnerships may not be my speciality, but assuming things about others even when it's laid out in front of their eyes tends to lead to arguments.

[pawned]

[Makes a strangled sound of exasperation before abruptly spinning on his heel and stalking away. He can't believe this guy, Itou has never in either worlds met someone so irritating before. He likes to think he has fairly tall barriers, but Jade just gets under his skin every single time. Time to retreat before he does something completely honest like punching the man in the face.]

Do not follow me, Curtiss.