[Near frowns slightly at the train of thought he can pick up on through their resonance, and that frown remains in place even as he leans into Mello’s touch, doing so as automatically as his Meister started to toy with his hair. While he may have thought otherwise at the beginning of this thing between them, Near has come to realize that it was inevitable for them to end up together after becoming partners, no matter how differently things would have gone if their decisions and personal choices had diverted from the path they actually took. After all, the letters from the doomed future showed quite clearly that he and the other Mello became a lot more than just partners, and Mello’s previous incarnation was quite different from him; as different as two people can be when they are literally the same person, that is.
For a moment, he considers pouring Mello a shot of that whiskey he’s so fond of, because it seems to have helped in the past; he remembers all too well how they were both feeling like after facing their own shadows for the first time, and how the alcohol helped dull some of the nerves that hit them as they tried to talk about that subject. He can’t help but wonder if the alcohol would help his partner once again, but it doesn’t take him long to realize that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea: Mello is displaying vulnerability, of all things-- something they rarely display at all, unless one or both of them have been seriously injured or have just narrowly escaped death-- not the nervousness of trying to speak about something neither of them are equipped for. They aren’t good at being scared, either, and admitting it out loud is almost as hard as admitting other, far more complicated things.
Is Mello worried that now that everything is (supposedly) fine, something else will happen to ruin it all? At the thought, Near’s hands move to his partner’s cheeks so he can cup them, and he holds on tight to their resonance, wanting to get to the bottom of this.]
Are you still scared? [he asks, not daring to speak out loud because that would feel-- quite illogically-- like tempting their luck.] Scared that something may happen, now that it’s all over?
[Truthfully, Near isn’t completely sure that both the war and BREW’s meddling are over-- he’s too paranoid to fully believe that with all of his synapses-- but it appears to be that way; he thinks he’ll feel a lot more at ease whenever Shibusen confirms that BREW is indeed inactive once more. But it’s hard to let a restless mind catch a break, for once, and it’s even harder given how many months he’s devoted to worrying about what the little demon tool could do.
Since their arrival, they’ve been fueled by their fight against BREW’s Russian roulette and the war against the Witches, but now that everything is over and now that they’ve been allowed to stay here, together, it’s as if the momentum they had been following had stopped, making them stumble in disorientation. Near can't help wondering if the adjustment will be harder than he predicted.]
no subject
For a moment, he considers pouring Mello a shot of that whiskey he’s so fond of, because it seems to have helped in the past; he remembers all too well how they were both feeling like after facing their own shadows for the first time, and how the alcohol helped dull some of the nerves that hit them as they tried to talk about that subject. He can’t help but wonder if the alcohol would help his partner once again, but it doesn’t take him long to realize that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea: Mello is displaying vulnerability, of all things-- something they rarely display at all, unless one or both of them have been seriously injured or have just narrowly escaped death-- not the nervousness of trying to speak about something neither of them are equipped for. They aren’t good at being scared, either, and admitting it out loud is almost as hard as admitting other, far more complicated things.
Is Mello worried that now that everything is (supposedly) fine, something else will happen to ruin it all? At the thought, Near’s hands move to his partner’s cheeks so he can cup them, and he holds on tight to their resonance, wanting to get to the bottom of this.]
Are you still scared? [he asks, not daring to speak out loud because that would feel-- quite illogically-- like tempting their luck.] Scared that something may happen, now that it’s all over?
[Truthfully, Near isn’t completely sure that both the war and BREW’s meddling are over-- he’s too paranoid to fully believe that with all of his synapses-- but it appears to be that way; he thinks he’ll feel a lot more at ease whenever Shibusen confirms that BREW is indeed inactive once more. But it’s hard to let a restless mind catch a break, for once, and it’s even harder given how many months he’s devoted to worrying about what the little demon tool could do.
Since their arrival, they’ve been fueled by their fight against BREW’s Russian roulette and the war against the Witches, but now that everything is over and now that they’ve been allowed to stay here, together, it’s as if the momentum they had been following had stopped, making them stumble in disorientation. Near can't help wondering if the adjustment will be harder than he predicted.]