soul_logs | [OPEN] * Field trip aftermath.

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[OPEN] * Field trip aftermath.

Characters: OPEN
Location: The Clinic
Rating: Not exactly sure...PG minimum?
Time: February 28; Anytime during the day.
Description: Sheena's recovering from her Madness-induced nightmare--both physically and emotionally. Anyone care to visit?

She was supposed to be recovering, but the nightmares and dreams brought on by the Madness wouldn't let her. She had been initially helped at the field trip site, but that hadn't lasted long--thanks to her own deep-seated fears over her memories. Not even the sedatives given her had been able to keep everything at bay. She had woken up several times during the night, frantically searching the room for any trace of those eyes that seemed to be wherever she looked. Eventually, the drugs and exhaustion had taken their toll, and she had fallen into a somewhat restless sleep.

This time, when she awoke, sunlight was streaming into the room, keeping the images away. Now, in the clear light of day, she was able to deal with what happened, and wondered if she was going to be able to handle things here.

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"Hinata? Oh, I met her! She's pretty nice." A little shy, but nice. She had almost forgotten about the quiet girl. From their conversation, she knew she was a fighter, but like Gai about her, she hadn't pieced together that she was a ninja. "She gave me some good advice about finding a partner."

"I'm not sure, really. See, the rest of my people followed a certain tradition for centuries, thinking the story behind it was true." She looked at him with a serious expression. "It makes me wonder if Mizuho broke away because of the reasons given--or because the people knew the truth."

"She is very nice. She has been through a lot, and she has been shaped by it, but in a good way. And that is good! Partners are very important. Especially when the madness hits. Though... Though you will have to work on trusting them. The first time we dealt with madness Kakashi and myself wound up fighting more. This time I managed to help him out." Gai shrugged. "It is a matter of learning how to work with someone, and then work even better with someone."

Gai's eyes narrowed. "What was the truth?"

So you can call these Summoners and tell them to control the elements and do whatever you want? This...this is cool! And did BREW let you bring this ability of yours to Death City? Now it's sure we'll win the war!

[This thing still no crystal clear for him, but it's obvious that Sheena has amazing powers.]

But...bad things happened to you.

She looked back down at her wrist. "Looking back, maybe I should have gone in with someone else. I think Spirit tried to warn me, but I didn't catch it." Then again, what had actually been said before and during the trip was part of her jumbled memories--or completely forgotten.

"The truth is somewhat complicated, but the religion and traditions they were following were nothing more than a way to fulfill someone's selfish desire to resurrect his sister." And she had mentioned this went on for centuries, right?

Actually, I'm the Summoner. The ones I can call on are the Summon Spirits. And, I don't tell them what to do; I ask them for help, and they decide the best way to go about it.

[She shakes her head.] No, BREW didn't let me keep that ability...

[She paused a moment after nodding.] When I was seven, I attempted to make a pact with the Spirit of Lightning. It...didn't work, and he attacked, killing just about everyone who had gone to his Temple with me. If I had been able to understand him, things might have gone differently...

No, it's not your fault!

[If Sheena just confessed she killed all of her family and the neighbors with an axe and laughed while doing it, Yamazaki would say the same thing. But he was glad Sheena did not kill anyone.]

There are spirits you just can't understand, no matter what. It's possible that that spirit was actually the soul of Oda Nobunaga or another crazy warlord of the feudal era! Don't be angry at me but I'm glad you're not dealing with spirits. They are very untrustworthy.

[He still wasn't quite getting it.]

Not those kind of spirits. Not ghosts. Volt is the Summon Spirit of Lightning. Although they're called Spirits, they're not dead.

But, you're right. Volt was vengeful, but I didn't find that out until years later when I tried again. My friend was able to translate the language he was speaking. He didn't trust people any more since the last person to make a pact broke their promise. [So who was truly unworthy?] That's why he attacked before, and why he attacked again...

"it is always a good idea to face danger with someone at your side." Gai paused. "It is best to face most things with someone with you, whether they are good or not. People need people! But do not regret missing a warning. You cannot change what happened."

He shook his head, frowning. "Resurrection is never a good thing. I have seen people sacrifice others for the desire to bring someone back, but the price is never worth it. It is always too high. And I am sorry that you were caught in that."

Did he attack...again? And he...did he hurt all your remaining friends and relatives who managed to survive his first attack?

[Hopefully Sheena would forgive Yamazaki if she finds out how superstitious and kind of religious this guy is.]

[She remained silent for a minute before shaking her head.]

No one from before was there...

[She looked away.]

But, my friends were okay after he attacked. Except one. He...saved me so I could do what I needed to.

[Good thing she didn't have her Summons, then. Shadow would probably scare him...]

"I know, but," she looked at him seriously. "Don't you ever wish you could though? That you could go back to a specific moment in your life and change one thing?" Her tone was such that this was no mere childish fantasy; she had actually thought about this quite often.

"You really have no idea how many people were sacrificed for that goal." She could still see the bodies of all the previous Chosens floating around in the Tower. Centuries of tradition ending in nothing more than a cemetery of young people. How ironic that in the end his wish had come true, but only by defeating him...

"To be honest, Gai, I'm not that sorry I was caught in that. I learned a few things during that time." And gained quite a few friends.

Please...look at me. Tell me what happened. What did you need to do?

[Yamazaki held Sheena's hand strongly and waited for the girl to look at him.]

"I think about it sometimes. If this had not happened, or that had not... but then I realize that there is no telling what else might have changed. Perhaps I would still have my sister, but what if I then did not have Lee? Or Kakashi? What if hundreds of civilians died instead because her mission did not wind up finished in the same way? Things are how they are. There is no telling what the price will be to change them, and it might be something that is not worth paying." Gai's voice was equally as serious. He's thought about it too.

Gai nodded. "That is a good attitude to have. All experiences are a learning opportunity, but someone can still feel for you."

[She sighed and looked at him.]

I had to make a pact with Volt. [A sad smile.] Don't ask me why, but it was very necessary. [He was having enough trouble understanding Summon Spirits without her telling him about Rheairds and needing Volt's power to make them work.]

Corrine's last words to me were to try again, because Volt just lost his faith in people. [Her eyes narrowed.] That changed in my hallucination.

[Yes, this story was a bit difficult for Yamazaki, but he understood that Sheena suffered and it was enough. Those damned hallucinations, damned Madness and damned everyone who hurt Sheena! Yamazaki wanted to stick sausages into their noses!]

Changed into what? What did you hear?

[He didn't force Sheena to speak out of mere curiosity, he really believed it would help the girl if she told someone what happened to her in the desert.]

[He should tell her that about the sausages. It might make her laugh.]

He...uh...He agreed with the voices telling me I shouldn't be alive. [She looked away again.]

And, they told me I tried to make it true.

[She knew he wasn't being cruel or curious. But it was difficult because she couldn't remember her own actions--just the illusion.]

"That's the only problem with that kind of wish. Not just what might change, but what if it doesn't? Then it would have been for nothing, right?" She scoffed lightly. "Like you said, things are the way they are, so they had to have happened for a reason, right? So no matter what we change, it could still occur because it was meant to."

And the price to pay? A future that might-have-been...

She chuckled softly. "Yeah, you can learn both good and bad things with every experience--like touching fire. And I guess the lessons are easier to learn if there's someone who cares enough to help you."

"That is it exactly. And we might lose even more in the process. It is best to make the most of what we have, and attempt to do our best in every moment given us."

Gai gave her a smile. "Things are always easier with someone. No one should be alone; it is when we are alone that we are weakest, not our strongest. However, I do wonder if you should be resting." He didn't have to go, but he also didn't want to keep her up too long. She'd been injured, after all, and injured enough that she was willing to stay in the clinic. That meant something, in his eyes.

That was part of her problem. She could never stop wondering what if Corrine had lived? Would she still have been able to make the pacts? Would her grandfather had ever woken up? As much as she wanted to change that time, she couldn't without possibly damaging the present and future.

She looked at him, his comment making her realize just how tired she actually was. She really didn't want him to go, but she wasn't going to ask him to stay, either. She nodded slowly in response. "Yeah, I guess you're right," she finally said.

He saw the hesitation and wasn't sure what it meant. Likely she didn't want to be alone, and he could understand that, but he needed to get back home too. There were dogs who wouldn't understand a message about him running late, and he had a partner he wasn't certain would know how to take a sudden night alone.

"I will visit again tomorrow, if you would like." It was the best he could offer. Gai reached over and rested a hand on her shoulder. "I am sorry. I shall not leave you alone for long, I promise."

No, she didn't want to be alone. Her dreams this time around were much worse. But, she got through the ones when she was a child mostly alone; she could probably get through these, too. She had no right to disrupt his life any more than she had and ask him to stay.

"That would be nice," she told him. "And don't worry about leaving. It's okay. I really shouldn't have kept you as long as I did." She wasn't laying a guilt trip, Gai. She was genuinely sorry she detained you for so long, since she knew that things were going on in their zone he had to attend to as well.

After searching her eyes Gai gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. "Rest well, Sheena. I shall see you in the morning." He bowed before leaving, a quick thing, and then he was slipping out and headed home, mind dwelling on her even as he left.

But you know that it was not true. Your friend would never tell something like that. If he did it, he was not your friend, it was only the Madness. Right?

[Is it against the rules of the clinic to hug a patient?

And if anyone said something like that and they meant it seriously, someone should stick some sausages into their...nose!

No. Corrine would never say that. That's what made it so bad.

[Not that she knows, but she'll be surprised at the gesture.]

People have said it and meant it... [Trails off. Kuchinawa with a sausage up his nose...

Forgive her, Zaki as she suddenly starts laughing.]

Meanwhile, Sheena watched him go, eyes fixed on the door for several moments after it closed. Even knowing it would be pointless, she lay back and closed her eyes, hoping any sleep she got would go uninterrupted.

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[OPEN] * Field trip aftermath.

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Nice keywords there... :P

I stole them with permission :P I'm not so funny XD

Neither am I. :(

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